With the creation of this blog, it was clear One Gentleman’s Perspective would be akin to a web, connecting various entities together. What ties it all together involves my perspective, as well as the effects on the breakdown of the gentleman’s lifestyle. One component strikes me with great intensity—the lack of contribution from dads in the lives of children. The effects manifest differently for boys and girls alike, but today we will focus on the latter.
It may appear odd that I used the term dads instead of fathers, but this was an intentional action. I believe any male able to procreate can be a father. You share a genetic link to the child, but not necessarily the responsibilities that come along with the role. However, a dad is one that may not necessarily have genetic ties to said child, but will take on all responsibilities.
I love you and you are beautiful are two phrases in which a young girl must hear from her dad, long before her first relationship with boys. Through her dad’s eyes, he desires nothing physical in return through the expression of either phrase.
In other words, she does not need to fulfill any guidelines or requirements, for her dad to say, I love you darling. To him, he loves her unconditionally. He loves her simply because she is his daughter.
For a father, his daughter need not depict any biased societal descriptions of beauty. To him, she is and will always be beautiful. She is beautiful with 10 fingers and 10 toes, just as if she were born with 8 fingers and 12 toes. Her father will give her the world on a golden platter, merely to see a smile on her face. She knows this comes with no strings attached, because her father does it all without expectation of exchange.
The relationship a daughters holds with her dad, is one that sets precedent going forward for all other males. Without that involvement, there is the potential of her seeking to fill the void left rather empty by an absentee dad. When her dad says, I love you, they saying occurs without conditions.
Sadly, when a male suitor does the same, unlike her dad, his intentions are not clear. Is he saying this because he genuinely cares for me? Does he believe it is what I want to hear? Will he always love me? These are a few ideas racing through her thoughts. Will the presence of a dad completely erase these doubts? They will not, but she has a greater chance of weeding through the games.
With a positive role model in the form of her dad, she recognizes since a young age, the significance of being a gentleman. She will observe through the actions of her dad and his interaction with all women, the importance behind respectful and honorable treatment. She grabs hold to a sturdy identity and self-esteem at home, minimizing the outside world from depicting it for her.
The love she finds at home is one no other man can match. She understands the love from her dad, is completely different from the love of a male suitor. She does not seek acceptance for her worth through men. Why would she seek something her dad has already supported in helping her define?
Dads, I implore you to portray the aura of a gentleman for your daughters. The standards you set as her first male contact will set a clear precedent. Do not allow society to define your daughter’s identity. It is not their responsibility—it is yours.