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Is sexual promiscuity right or is it wrong? I could not care less how many partners you have each day, week or during your lifetime.
Your issue is not that you personally care, how men are able to have multiple partners and receive praise.
Instead, you subconsciously do not understand why men hear man-whore or slut and not care, whereas when the word applies to your actions, it hurts your feelings.
It all comes back to how it makes you feel. The word is not the issue, it is the feeling that you receive due to the negative connotation of the word.
Your feelings are in the spotlight, but you try to mask it under the umbrella of sexual inequality. Generally, if a man is known as a dog due to his actions towards women, he accepts the label because his actions represent the definition.
Generally speaking, if a woman is known to have multiple casual encounters sexually, she will not accept the label of easy or promiscuous.
If she did, she will not spend an ounce of time, asking for the removal of words, which defines her actions. You see, this is all about feelings.
In my short years, I actually encountered women who say:
Yes! I am a slut and proud.
For the women who fully embrace the word(s) applied to their actions, they do not care what you think about their behavior.
You will never find them campaigning online or offline, to remove the word or take back ownership. They know what their actions define, and are completely okay with their behavior.
With these women, I applaud them for accepting complete responsibility, versus hiding behind the politically correct shield, which removes accountability.
However, for the women who engage in casual sex, and find fault in the word(s) describing their actions, the first thing they say is:
I should be able to have sex with all the men in the world, without you stopping/judging me.
You see, this is about how the word makes them feel—that is it. It makes little sense that they want people to refrain from using words, which define their actions.
Right, wrong…that is not the topic of discussion. The topic involves people using words to define one’s actions. If I know my male friend has sex with two random girls each day, by definition, he is promiscuous.
If I know my female friend has sex with two random guys each day, by definition, she is promiscuous. However, out of my two friends, the likelihood is that she will be the only one upset with the label.
Once again, this all comes back to how the word makes a person feel.
With that said, I have to speak the truth regarding the idea that, I should be able to sleep around if I want, and it applies to both men and women.
No one is stopping you from performing fellatio on the entire football team.
No one is stopping you from walking into a bar, and having sex with each guy for drinks.
No one is stopping you from having sex with each girl in your psychology class.
No one is stopping you from having sex with different women from the club.
No One
No one is stopping you, from having as many sexual encounters as you desire. I am begging you to stop saying, I should be able to have sex with as many women/men as I want, as if there is any law limiting your random sexual trysts for the night.
You are free to engage with as many casual sexual partners as you choose. However, with this action, there is a term that applies.
You say:
I should be able to have sex with as many women/men as I want.
However, what you really want to say is:
I should be able to have sex with as many women/men as I want, without the application of the words man-whore, slut, or easy. These words hurt my feelings, even though I say they do not.
You are the kind of person who wants to rob a bank, without being called a thief. You want to murder your neighbor, without being called a murderer.
You want to consume meat, and yet have others consider you a vegan. You see, this makes no sense.
I am not saying it is right or wrong to sleep around; I just want you to make sense. LOL. You cannot commit an act, and then ask that people remove the words, which define said act.
If you are walking, I will not say that you are driving, just because the word walking hurts your feelings.
If you physically abuse your wife, you are an abusive male. I am not going to call you a nice guy, because the term abusive male, makes you feel bad.
You see, words describe actions and with actions, we use words as a description. This is how language works. I know, I know…the PC-nation has made the logical appear illogical, and the illogical to appear logical.
However, I have a way to help gauge the differences with a few examples.
If you smoke cigarettes, you are a smoker. If you want me to consider you a nonsmoker, you are illogical.
If you have sex every single day, you are sexually active. If you want me to consider you a virgin, you are illogical.
If you workout professionally and you call yourself a bodybuilder, you are logical.
If you operate on the cardiovascular system professionally, and call yourself a cardiac surgeon, you are logical.
I am not the smartest man in the world, but even with my average intelligence, actions have meaning. Men, women…please, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck—it is a duck.
It is not an empowered duck, liberated duck or a duck looking to take back ownership of the word duck. It is simply a duck.
This is not about the shortness of your skirt, trying to police your ability to enjoy having sex, or stipulating that you must remain a virgin until marriage or else.
This is not even a post addressing your worth as an individual. None of these things are relevant for this particular post.
To be frank, you are too concerned with other people’s opinion, when you should focus on having as many sexual parts as you desire. That is a right you currently have. Your issue is not with the question, in and of itself.
Your issue is your innate fixation on what other people think about you. I believe this happens to be the real issue, but it is much easier for you to cry foul against supposed shaming language.
If you have 20 partners this week or 50 over the next month, that is your business and right. However, just like we often say there is an app for that, to simplify our lives via the smart phone…well, there is a word for that, to define your actions.
How you react to the word is entirely on you, and not the word or speaker.
One Gentleman's Perspective 
Absolutely love the message you sent us here Alton! 🙂 Many of us often care what others think about us more than the actions we take. At the end of the day, it’s our own business. Why should we care that much? lol
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Thank you for checking out another post. I am always grateful to hear what others think, especially on hot button issues. When it involves women, I always look forward to hearing their perspective. Thanks for letting me know you understand the message. It was not to pass judgment, but to bring clarity. If you are doing something you like, at the core, no one can make you feel bad about it. Your reaction is entirely yours. If you are doing something you enjoy, and someone’s opinion “hurts your feelings” about what you are doing, that is entirely on you–not the other person. Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your time.
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You’re welcome. 🙂 It’s definitely my pleasure to read hot button issues you discussed here. I really enjoyed it. Good job Alton! 😉
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Well then. This may be one of my favorite blog posts I have ever read. I have not read Part One yet, but I am headed there next. This made me actually laugh out loud. Yes, double standards exist but even more pressing an issue: ignorance and the logic (or lack thereof) that goes along with it. Well done.
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Here you go again spreading positive energy. Lol. Thank you. I am appreciative for such a response. I wouldn’t expect anyone to say that, so thank you.
Whenever I write something involving women, I usually have my wife read it. She is like my “test dummy” of sorts. I want to see what she thinks, before I hit publish. She said it was funny, sarcastic, truthful, but some women may take it personally. Lol. Thank you for laughing, because that was the intent.
It is definitely a hot button issue, so I tried to lighten the air with a little humor. I love your last line, because it is what I was trying to get across…”ignorance and the logic (or lack thereof) that goes along with it.”
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PAH HA HA love the picture!!!! Perfect.
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HaHa. That was my wife’s response. She laughed and said she loved the post. “Is that a real picture?” Dawson’s Creek was one of my favorite shows. I think in this scene, he broke up with his girlfriend. The face fits perfectly into this post. Thank you for catching the humor behind this topic.
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ok did you have to use the absolute worst picture of the self-righteous character of dawson leery crying on his dock in capeside before joey runs off to her one true love?! yes, yes I was an avid dc viewer and was team pacey all the way.
that aside, excellent post!
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Oh and to be clear. He didn’t break up with Joey per se, it’s when he realizes that Joey needs Pacey and Pacey needs Joey and even more, is that Pacey loves her the same way back…and then he crumples to the dock. A sobbing heap of 16-year old angst, self-righteousness and all that I loved about that damn show 😀
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Thank you. Lol. Dawson’s Creek was one of my favorite shows. The intro song alone enticed my interest. I was unaware 100 percent of how the scene played out, but I knew it involved the relationship somehow. Thank you for correcting me on what happened in the photo and reading the blog. The photo played perfectly with the idea of appearing emotional. Lol. When I saw the image, I was compelled to use it.
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Well, I haven’t personally been called slut all that often, but another word, bitch comes to mind. I was a freshman in high school waiting by the pool cafe after school. A teenage boy I didn’t know, out of the blue walked up to me and said, “What’s up bitch?” Obviously at the time, I was offended. But not so much of what he said, but that he had invaded my personal space by touching my hair.
But now, even online, I’ll see comments referring to every woman and every female on Earth as bitch. Like, “That bitch is cool.” “What a smart bitch.” Bitch this, bitch that. I actually find it pretty funny, because it’s totally used out of context.
Likewise, I agree that emotions complicate things further as in the case of a female who participates in casual sex with many partners and chooses to reject the term, slut. It’s not really so much that people are judging them, but the conversation could easily be closed by saying, “Yeah, I am a slut.” Then we can all just move on.
And by the way, please feel free to censor and moderate my language for your purposes.
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Thanks for stopping by and reading. I appreciate you writing your take on word usage.
I think the usage of the word occurs as frequently with women, as the word “jerk,” occurs with men. The meanings are vastly different of course, but it is the one word I think is used as often, when it comes to the opposite sex. It is used in all situations, even in instances where the word is misused. The word you mentioned is another I see used by males and females alike, in a negative situation and of course positive ones.
It is like they created two different emotions for the word. I hear female friends calling one another the word, but without malicious intent. I then hear them use the word for someone else, but this time, the malicious intent is clear. I wonder if people using the word understand the actual definition. LoL.
It is either the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals, a lewd or immoral woman, a malicious/spiteful/overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse, and something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant.
Words are powerful, in the sense they have a meaning for a reason. When we begin adding our own interpretation, it begins to cause much confusion. For instance, the current usage of “bae.” To relate this to your significant other, when the actual definition in Danish comes from an onomatopoeia expressing disgust is silly. “Bae” means poop or feces. How or why should we then create our own slang as “baby?” My wife is not poop. Lol. I will never use this word–ever. By the way, I will not censor words here. Lol.
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