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It does not take long for a Google search to provide results, to just about anything your mind can imagine. For the above statement, Google was able to locate over 13 million results in 0.29 seconds.
The internet allows ideas and stereotypes to spread faster and to a wider audience. One concern I witness often online, involves men and their application of the word slut, to just about every woman they encounter.
This post will be One Gentleman’s Perspective on men, and their ability of becoming too emotional and irrational, when the ego is involved. As a disclaimer, when I originally created this post, the goal was to show how men misuse a certain word against women.
I do not think the original direction was successful, therefore, I decided an edit was necessary, especially involving the recent discussion of words describing one’s actions.
There is a belief that I will consider common knowledge in the male community, whether you agree or not, the chances of coming into contact are very high. This belief is that all women are sexually promiscuous. All men do not believe this, but irrational ones do.
The current definition of a slut is a woman who has many casual sexual partners. The old definition simply implies a woman with low standards of cleanliness. Interestingly enough, the word originated as a definition representing untidy men.
If your actions do not denote the label, the application of the word makes little sense. In fact, even a woman who falls under the definition will find the label offensive, but that has more to do with her than any other party.
A gentleman is one who thinks rationally, a man on the other hand can think rationally and in other instances, insanely. Why is it important to think sensibly? Logic explains it is mathematically improbable that all women are sluts.
Is it possible that a her actions sexually, can fall under the definition of the word slut? By definition, of course this is possible. Words exists because of actions, and your actions will set in motion a word’s definition. However, a sensible individual is aware the definition cannot apply for all women.
More importantly, the definition is completely lost through an emotional reaction. In other words, in a heat of rage, the male will use the term completely out of context.
For example, in viewing commentary online, men apply the word to women, whose actions are opposite to the definition. A woman becomes licentious because she denies the advances of random strangers online, or disagrees with their opinion on a subject.
To the men practicing this irrational behavior, I will say that your ego can and has been your greatest enemy. If she denies your advances, collect your ego’s luggage and travel elsewhere.
If you disagree on something, how can you connect differing opinions, with her having a number of casual sexual encounters? This connection comes only through an individual thinking without sound judgment.
When it boils down to facts, you have no knowledge whatsoever about the sexual history of the woman, in which you hurl this label. I have witnessed males in public apply the label to a complete stranger, solely because she refuses to consider the butt slap or arm tug as chivalrous methods in gaining her attention.
I have witnessed men apply the label to celebrity women, with gossip websites as the only source. Tabloids are to sell controversy, and even when the information lacks tangible evidence, the story runs nonetheless. This is the last place for you to gather evidence, as to her number of sexual partners.
When the situation involves this word and illogical men, facts are not important. Her actual sexual history is irrelevant. Words serve a purpose, but misusing words undermines their meaning, therefore, the misuse serves no purpose.
When the male ego encounters bruising of any kind, he either takes it on the chin and walks away or reacts emotionally. Like a newborn unable to speak, which cries in pain to garner the attention of their guardian, an irrational adult male grabs attention in a way he knows best—saying and doing anything he knows will spark a reaction.
Here is a simple solution to this problem—think before you speak. Boys act first and ask questions later. However, you are a man and as a man, you strive to be a gentleman…well, that is the goal in maturing from boy to man.
When you use a word, make sure the definition actually applies to one’s actions. Your feelings on the matter are irrelevant. However, your understanding of words is significant.
I find humor in many places where others may not. The word slut applies to someone having a number of casual sexual partners. I have been in situations where a woman rejects to having sex with a guy, and he labels her a slut in response.
You see, this is incredibly funny and illogical to me. I am not laughing at a woman receiving the label. I find humor in the fact that this guy specifically called a woman a slut, all because she refused to have sex with him. LoL. Wow! Come on guys, we have to do better.
Tell me, have you ever encountered the emotional male and his misuse of the word? Are you someone who has applied the term incorrectly? What is your take on labeling someone a slut?
I think all women have encountered this. When it is used on me it simply makes me smile. It is kind of like other hot button words in that it is offensive to pretty much all females. Men know it cuts deep, so when they are too mentally dim to come up with an adequate come back they will pull it out as a last ditch effort to “win”. Most often it just makes them look rather pitiful.
For instance the last time this word was publicly paraded about as an insult to me was by someone I cared a lot about who had become jealous. Background = I’ve only been sexually active with two men in the last thirty years, in two separate relationships. My accuser has been with 30-40 or so women in the same time period. Yet, when he became jealous, I was labeled a slut, quite publicly on a site for all our friends to read. Most of them also found it humorous as they knew of our histories.
I gave no response to the stupidity, such ignorance is unworthy of my response.
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It’s interesting that you mention the word making you smile. I am happy to read you do not allow them to transfer their energy into you, because in all honesty, we determine the power of “insults.” It is not easy of course, but we make the determination how to react after their comment.
I would find humor in this situation as well. “So, I had two partners in 30 years, whereas you had 30-40 partners, but for some reason I am a slut because of your feelings.” Lol.
This is a perfect example of someone assessing a situation irrationally, and completely misusing a word. Are you guys still friends?
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Yes, we are still friends, we lost some of the closeness of our friendship. I don’t view people as disposable, or require that all my friends have the same standards that I do. He knows he messed up. It taught me something I needed to know about him. So it ended up being a good thing.
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I agree with this, the word “ALL” should not be use and must men label women “slut” because the woman refuse him sex. Thanks for such a great post
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Thank you much. It is a word he believes will trigger a negative reaction. It is such a pity when we misuse words. I greatly appreciate the read, response and of course the reblog. The acknowledgment is appreciated.
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Reblogged this on I G Malgwi's Blog and commented:
All men need to read this
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I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award. There is no pressure in accepting the award. Just accept when you feel like to. Here is the information about One Lovely Blog Award: http://faburlifekhloe.wordpress.com/2014/10/21/one-lovely-blog-award/ 🙂
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Thank you for the nomination. I genuinely appreciate the acknowledgment.
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You’re welcome. 🙂
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I haven’t encountered myself, but I have seen someone misused such a label to a complete strangers on the street. Sometimes I just wonder what’s the point of using this label when they know very well they have misused them already. I wonder if they feel good when they use such a label in a wrong place.
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It makes little sense, but when you are using pure emotion to convey an insult, there is little thinking involved. Lol. I see it from time-to-time, and as someone who tries to assess a situation before responding, I have a difficult time understanding why people act this way. Thank you for reading and giving my page your presence. I appreciate it.
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You’re welcome. 🙂 Same here…I have a difficult time understanding that as well…
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Great thought. Very well written. I’m glad that you inserted the original definition of a slut. If men were called this term nowadays they would be ready to fight, according to the original definition. Vice versa, women who are called this term, especially if they do not fit the definition, should be fighting mad.
You are correct in your assessment of why men use the term. It has no bearing on the woman they are soliciting for the most part. Their ego is just hurt. They need to grow up and learn how to approach a woman in the proper way. Perhaps, they may gain her attention.
Women should carry themselves in such a manner that will exude self-worth. When you know who you are and what you possess, these types of ignorant men will not approach you in a indignant manner. If they attempt to say anything, it would be mumbled under their breath or through mental telepathy (LOL). We as women set the standard for how men are to treat us. If we degrade ourselves and/or dress in a manner that receives undue attention, then it’s really our fault for displaying ourselves as such.
Women, we are the backbone to the family unit and we must live in such a way where our children and community are uplifted and strengthened.
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Thank you. I appreciate your response. You are 100 percent correct. There are guys who still believe approaching all women in the manner you speak of, as if this is correct approach. For the life of me, I cannot understand why so many guys refuse to learn how to court women. It is simple really, shouting “Yo Shorty” on the street is not a good approach. Grabbing her arm and asking for her name is not a good approach. You may not know the best approach, but these two examples are poor ones.
Some women react to these poor approaches, which is why they continue. However, for the most part, they notice the countless women who react negatively to the approach. In their minds, the majority does not outweigh the minority. Lol.
“Women should carry themselves in such a way that will exude self-worth.”
You could not have stated that any better.
“We as women set the standard for how men are to treat us.”
Once again, you have represented things perfectly. It all begins with her. A man can never continue to do, what you will not allow. However, he can and he will continue, if you allow it. This goes for everything in the communication/relationship process with him. The energy you put out, is the energy you will receive. It is really that simple.
Thank you for the words of wisdom. It is always great receiving a females perspective on these matters.
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You said “Here is a simple solution to this problem—think before you speak. Boys act first and ask questions later. However, you are a man and as a man, you strive to be a gentleman…well, that is the goal in maturing from boy to man.
When you use a word, make sure the definition actually applies to one’s actions. Your feelings on the matter are irrelevant. However, your understanding of words is significant.”
Hilarious. And true. There is always something funny lurking in the distance between logic and complete idiocy. I have been insulted from men after turning down their advances, and I am really nice about it. I understand the amount of gumption it takes to approach someone and put your heart on the line so I try to be kind in my deference. However, I have noticed the switch happens rather quickly. Literally in seconds, the man who has just hit on you is now badmouthing you out of embarrassment for his ego being scratched. Well done. Perhaps sometime soon you can tackle “cat-calling.”
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I like your usage of words, lol. Thanks for stopping by and sharing. Whenever a woman provides her perspective on my posts involving women, it enhances my understanding for the topic. Thank you for sharing.
“There is always something funny lurking in the distance between logic and complete idiocy.” HaHaHa. Your daughters are in great hands, when it comes to the usage of words. Lol. You are 100 percent correct though. It is usually the women who turn them down, who receive a verbal barrage of bruised ego responses.
“Let me get this straight, you stopped to talk to ME, because you found ME attractive. Okay, I got that part. I was not interested, so I declined. I understand that part as well. You obviously found me attractive because as mentioned before, you approached ME. That makes sense if I use critical thinking. However, now that you discovered I am not interested, the hot girl you approached is now ‘an ugly slut.’ Okay, please explain that complete shift, in going from an attractive person you approached, to becoming an ugly slut.” Lol. This is the kind of conversation I might have, if I were the girl.
You just gave me an idea, so I have started researching the history of cat-calling. Lol. I am going to need your help possibly with your experience. Thanks for stopping by and giving me something new to write about.
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Happy to be of service. Funny thing: Rush Limbaugh spoke about cat-calls the day you posted this because of this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBsig5edKNM)
I find it to be humorous when I personally experience this but I am not one to let others ruin my day. I was curious to hear about this topic from a males perspective because I find myself wondering what is going through the minds of these “cat-callers.” I assume they have been somewhat successful in their showy mating calls… or they wouldn’t still be doing it. If I am correct in assuming this, that would then leave the responsibility on women to change their response to the behaviors, if they find them to be unacceptable. My guess is that there are plenty of women out there who eat up the attention… and the cycle perpetuates. Thank you for your post! And for presenting the case I believe to be true: Gentleman do not cat call. If you wish to be a gentleman you must change your behavior. If you wish to be with a gentleman you must also change your behavior. Well done!
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