From my post addressing women and catcalling, without question, I highly recommend against resorting to this style of approach. If you so choose to catcall, none of the social norms in the world will make you stop, until you realize that you should stop.
This is incredibly important for us to understand. I sometimes sit back and observe people, because I find that you can learn quite a bit, simply by listening. The more I observe, I begin to understand that few analyze the things they discuss through critical thinking.
I do not have a high I.Q., and I do not consider myself smarter than others. I am far too humble for that. However, I do my best to minimize my feelings, and instead assess matters through critical thinking.
I am a romantic at heart, so it is quite easy to impose my feelings through writing. However, when it comes time to have a discussion, I put on my critical thinking hat. In my past discussions on catcalling, I tried to do just that.
In the process of reading a number of blogs, and viewing a number of vlogs responding to the 10-hour catcalling viral video, I came to a conclusion.
If catcalling is opposite to what I consider gentleman-like behavior, what do I recommend is more representative of a gentleman’s approach?
The first thing to do is remove the concept of catcalling altogether. There are terms only cat-callers tend to use, when they encounter women for the first time. They are not sentences, but simply words or phrases.
The list can go on, but you should get the point. These phrases and words, are simply opposite to everything representative of the gentleman’s etiquette. I know catcalls do work in instances—I see them in action. However, to be a gentleman, you cannot resort to such tactics.
Besides, the types of women who embrace these terms are more than likely opposite, to the type of women that you desire long-term. You can label that sentence judgmental if you wish, but any woman worth your salt, will not acknowledge such an introduction.
After rejecting this notion, you must understand that you are only as good at dialogue, as your self-esteem.
If you do not believe you can gain the attention of this woman, your mind will never allow the words to exit your mouth. In fact, your legs will not move, which will lead you into her direction. In other words, you cannot say things like…
She is out of my league
I can’t do it
On a personal level, I do not believe any woman is out of someone’s league. This is a self-defeating concept, which you should rid from your understanding of relationships.
Women usually find confidence in men attractive—considering someone out of your league before engaging at all, does not show confidence.
Until you overcome doubt, you will never make an attempt to approach someone. Think of it this way, the very worst she can do is turn you down. Keep in mind, she was not present in your life before you approached her, and if she says no, she will remain absent.
The point is this, if she says no, the situation will be as it were before you approached her—absent of her presence. When you keep this in mind, the emotional sting from rejection, will slowly diminish.
A stranger does not owe you her time. The same way a man does not owe a woman his time. If you are compatible for one another, things will be and if not, move on.
But I digress.
After stomping out the doubt from your thoughts, you now have to assess the setting. When you are assessing the setting, it can determine how to proceed…
Is the encounter located in a busy location?
Is the encounter in an isolated area, where no others are present?
Is she by herself?
Is she with relatives or friends?
Does she seem hurried?
Is she on the cell phone?
Does she appear upset, sad, or angry?
Is she walking empty-handed?
Is she walking with multiple bags in her hands?
Is it during the night, and rather dark outside?
There are countless other things to assess with the setting, but the idea is that each scenario will cause you to approach things differently.
I will not go through each approach, but the idea is to use your judgment. If she is out with her family, you have to determine for yourself and by assessing their interaction, if this is an appropriate time to strike up a conversation.
Sometimes she may branch off for a moment, where she is away from the family, thus providing you the opportunity for conversation.
Hi, I understand you are with your family right now, and I will not take up too much of your time. My name is Sebastian, and I honestly find your hairstyle incredibly stunning.
There is something about the way your hair falls over your eyes. I am actually shopping for a vacation with friends, and then I saw you over here. I could not let this moment pass me by.
Other times, the family is in the midst of something, and the time may not be appropriate to interject yourself.