DUN-DUN-DUUUUN! The topic of sex is as old as humanity. I mean, you would not be reading this post, if body exploration sessions did not occur between your parents. Refusing to acknowledge a topic is rarely ever a good idea. It only fuels the interest of people, causing them to inquire further.
How long should you wait to have sex with someone? Please keep in mind; this is merely an opinion through One Gentleman’s Perspective.
I will be honest here, because there is no sense in lying. As a long-time reader of this blog, you are aware the process of becoming a gentleman is just that—a process. It does not occur overnight.
You do not snap your fingers and instantly, a gentleman appears. It is a lifelong journey, and each day you must remain steadfast in the decision to remain a gentleman, even when it goes against popular behavior.
With that said, how long did I wait to have sex? Well, in the past, there were instances of having sex during the first encounter.
On the other hand, the act of exploring someone’s body took far longer. I am not here to say, do X and not Y.
Instead, I want you to consider why I believe something, and then decide what best suits you.
The best place to begin is my view on sex as a whole, now that I am an adult. As a married man, and no longer roaming the dating pool for a hookup, I think a number of people should refrain from having sex while dating.
Though I have a spiritual/religious connection to this topic, my answer will be void of these beliefs. In other words, my answer will not come through the lens of either.
Instead, I believe a number of the issues people face while dating, involves the act of sex. When sex enters the equation, some become clingy, controlling, emotional, etc.
They enter the act of sex, without first understanding what exactly it means to have sexual intercourse. You see, we define sexual intercourse and acts of sex as…
1The insertion and thrusting of a male’s penis, usually into a female’s vagina or anus, for the purposes of sexual pleasure or reproduction..
2Penetration of the mouth by the penis or oral penetration of the vulva or vagina (oral sex), sexual penetration by the fingers (fingering)…
There are other examples, but these concepts are sufficient for the explanation.
On paper, the definitions sound easy enough. In the reality, there is far more at play.
Generally speaking of course, sexual acts involve a great deal of emotions. From observation, a number of people engage in sexual acts, by only assessing the physical.
1Okay, I take this and insert here. It sounds simple enough.
2Okay, he is going to use that, and insert here.
We forget the emotional piece, which is able to possess far greater consequences.
1 Will he hold me afterwards?
2 Will he tell his friends?
3 Will he still treat me the same?
4 What if I pre-ejaculate?
5 What if I cannot perform?
6 What if she does not experience ecstasy?
7 Will she make fun of my size?
8 Why is he looking at my breasts?
The topic is still such a taboo one, many like to believe children are not having sex, because if you avoid the topic altogether, surely children will remain abstinent.
Surprise, surprise…some children are akin to mini-pornstars in training. Children are experiencing acts of sex, far sooner than their parents could imagine. In my high school, people were already making sex tapes and having threesomes on the premises.
During the first semester of college on my way to class, I was in the presence of girls between the ages of 11-13.
Girl, he had me bent over, and was giving it to me from behind…
I am not going to sit here and lie, but the entire dynamic of the conversation disgusted me.
I am not their relative, but when I was growing up, there were things my parents conveyed we should not express loudly in public. A good number of children today, are completely absent of respect. Why do I say this?
I understand they may not have positive role models. However, that realization did not erode my understanding for basic human decency growing up.
Interestingly, there were several other individuals present. Some were two or three times my age, and others were younger.
This was not the place for such a conversation. You may call this assessment judgmental, but I will not retract my assessment. The entire conversation disgusted me. At such a young age, I fail to see how you can grasp the intricacies of sex.
What makes someone so young, believe this was an acceptable conversation to discuss so loudly? Even if it were boys, my conclusion would not change.
But I digress.