I believe people have a little margin of error to get away with things, when they do not know any better. However, the moment you know better, you should do better. That is the purpose of maturity, is it not?
I focus on both males and females, because there is a symbiotic relationship. To address one without addressing the other, well, it is an injustice.
There are terrible female companions, and then there are awesome ones. There are loser males, and then there are suitable ones.
I do not believe in this ridiculous concept that women can do no wrong.
A woman will never lie about sexual assault
Women do not lie about domestic violence
You can take that nonsense and have a politically correct parade. However, on this side of town, I believe in equality.
As horrible as society likes to paint the entire male population, yet cast this innocent and no accountability umbrella over the entire female population, this is incredibly misleading.
The point is this—I will always address the good and the bad from both sides.
Today, we will address one of the poor decisions that some guys make, especially in this digital age.
Within the past month, I encountered three blogs complaining about this issue. One Gentleman’s Etiquette must occur online, as much as it occurs offline.
There is a time and a place for everything. Heterosexual females enjoy the male physique. However, they do not like it to the point, where you should send unsolicited pictures of your buddy (penis) via email, text message, etc.
I presume the individual who commits such poor judgment, may never read this post.
However, I still feel it is necessary because the gentleman’s code is to correct bad behavior. Yes, sending unsolicited photos of your buddy is bad behavior.
It is one thing if she desires this photo. It is one thing if you both have an agreement of sorts, to send one another these intimate images. In other words, she makes it clear that she wants to see your buddy, in all of its glory.
However, and this is a HUGE however—no pun intended, but there is a difference between this, and instances of sending unsolicited photos.
In one scenario, the other party wants to see your soldier in action. In the other, she does not. It is a rather clear concept, yet, it happens nonetheless.
You may wonder what compels him to send the photo. Well, he simply wants to. One reason is that he believes it will entice you sexually, thus, opening up dialogue about sex.
Before you scratch your head, read that last sentence again, and erase everything besides the words entice, sexually and sex.
Did you do it?
Okay. I am not saying that all males think about sex 24/7. That is not the case. Personally, I only think about it roughly 23.9 hours each day, but 24 is pushing it. I am kidding…or am I?
Humor aside, I want you to focus on the types of guys committing these unsolicited acts. Break him down to his most primal state. What remains? Sex…sex remains.
It does not matter if he earns $500K annually, or $30K. It does not matter if he smokes cigars, or does not smoke at all. What is the point?
When you remove the extra layers of him as an individual, what remains is a guy seeking a way to initiate sex into the conversation. What better way than sending a photo of his buddy?
I did not say it is a good decision. On the contrary, I do not believe a guy should send unsolicited photos of his buddy. I only want you to understand an opinion behind the why.
It will creep out some females, but it can anger others. I also know of situations where the text/email/private Instagram message leaves them dumbfounded.
Tom (4:55P.M.): Hey Cathy, what are you up to?
Cathy (5:10P.M.): Nothing at the moment. I was getting ready to take a bathe. You?
Tom (5:10P.M.): Nice!
Cathy (5:15P.M.): (download image) WTF???? Why are you sending me this?
Tom (5:16P.M.): You said you were taking a bathe, so I thought you were flirting.
Cathy: (5:18P.M.): How the heck did you get that from, “I was getting ready to take a bathe. You?” What if my daughter opened the phone and downloaded this? Do you think I’m a whore or something? Don’t text me again.
Males and females are not wired the same, when it comes to these things.
On average, if a guy were to receive an unsolicited photo of your kitty (vagina), his initial reaction is to smile, and then call you to see if he can come over. However, that is not how it works for females—generally speaking of course.
In short—do not send unsolicited photos.
When she engages in the topic, specifically requests them and wants to receive more from that point, you can send away. Until then, do not send unsolicited photos.
If it does happen to you, do not ignore it because he may simply send again. If the photo is from a random user online, flag and/or report them. If it is someone you know, and the message is via text/email, say something like the following…
I am confused you actually believe I wanted this photo. Is this the level of respect that you have for me? Other females may find this flattering, sexy or whatever.
However, the reason I have yet to ask for your buddy picture, is because I am not like those other females. If I wanted to see your buddy, do you really think I would not ask for it?
Think about that one for a second.
I am sure if I asked you to come to my house right now, even though I live three hours away, you would make the trip. Patience and respect—that is sexy to me. Right now, you have neither. Please do not text me again.
This is my perspective on the topic; I would love to read yours. Has this ever happened to you before? How would you react, if it did happen to you?