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Advice, Bloggers, Communication, Culture, OneGentlemansPerspective, Opinion, Reflection, Relationships, Sex, Social Media, Society, Thoughts, Women
I am about 75 percent certain of one thing; this post will create controversy. Some time ago, I created a series that would address certain questions I encounter on social media, regardless how difficult the subject matter.
In this era of you hurt my feelings, therefore, you are a racist or a misogynist; today’s question is as difficult as they come.
However, I will not refrain from addressing hot button issues, simply because the explanation will hurt someone’s feelings.
Well, that is not entirely accurate. There is one topic that my wife does not want me ever to address, especially in my straightforward, and refusal to beat around the bush perspective.
I understand the concern she has, which is why I will not address the topic. After all, she has given me great advice over the years. Nonetheless, everything else is fair game.
But I digress.
I presume the users online asking this question are usually females, but that is simply a calculated assessment on my end. Generally, males do not have these concerns.
Why do boys always fall for the sluts?
That is an interesting question, which I will approach as objectively as possible. If you are reading this, and happen to be one of the individuals posing this question, I hope my answer(s) will satisfy your curiosity.
Instead of seeing this purely on a sexual level, remove the notion and assess the question by reasonable deduction. How do we typically associate women on a sexual level, concerning the category of slut?
You imagine someone where engaging in sexual activity comes far easier, when you compare this individual with other females. It is not about the way that she dresses, her decision to appear sexually liberated, etc.
Through reasonable deduction, you imagine the challenge of a male engaging with this individual sexually, as minimal at best. In fact, you may imagine the extent of having sex as completely absent of difficulty.
In short, the ability of someone having sex with this person is easy. Therefore, your question is better suited as…
Why do boys prefer to spend their time with someone, whom appears sexually easy?
You can apply the concept to anything really. Why do some people prefer one-minute rice, as oppose to cooking on the stove for 20+ minutes?
Why do people prefer watching movies at home, as opposed to buying a movie ticket online, traveling to a theater and watching in the presence of strangers?
Why do people prefer get-rich-quick tutorials, as opposed to grinding from the ground up, and creating a legacy through hard work? It all comes down to what is more convenient or easy.
Generally speaking, if the objective were of a sexual nature, regardless if the male in question is 13 or 50-years-old, the path of least resistance would appear ideal.
Imagine that someone presented you with two job offers. In one, you can generate $100K on an annual basis, simply by posting selfies with the hashtag #ILoveCaligraphy.
In the second, you can earn $100K annually, by working six days per week and 13 hours per day, as a logging worker. Which would you choose realistically?
The average person would choose a career of taking selfies.
Would you ridicule them for making this decision, or would you understand the objective of earning a specific dollar amount annually, with less stress and less work accidents, makes sense for someone desiring a path of least resistance to $100K?
Think of sex in the same manner. If he knows that having sex or any other sexual act with person-X, is far easier than with person-Y, and the objective is purely of a sexual nature, person-Y is unlikely to win this battle.
I am sure this affects younger age females, than a more mature crowd of women. Therefore, I understand the frustration.
As an older brother of sorts, I believe you should not see this as a problem. In fact, here is a little secret that most guys are aware…they seek these girls because there is no challenge. However, when it comes time to settle down, girl-X is unlikely to win that battle.
I am not ridiculing any women, possessing a liberal perspective on her sexual appetite. That is your business.
As a consenting adult, you can have sex with whomever and with how many partners as you see fit.
I simply want to point out an observation. Males will seek out the least challenging partner on a sexual level, when his desire is for a quick fix.
However, when seeking out a quick fix is no longer an objective, his perspective changes. He then becomes interested in the types of females conducting themselves differently, to what he considers a quick fix.
This explanation is something that a number of people may not like, but I believe in expressing an unfiltered answer, even if it is a difficult pill to swallow.
Do not fall victim to changing yourself, simply to appease to these guys seeking out a quick fix.
In the short-term, they may overlook you, in order to attain what appears easier. However, in the end, you will become what they all desire and when that happens; you will be in full control.
Think of it this way, you can earn a lot of money in a short period by selling narcotics. However, the cons are able to outweigh the pros for the larger population of people.
Therefore, the quick fix of earning money loses its value, which means the larger population will choose different or much lower paying careers, due to them wanting more than a quick dollar.
Why do guys fall for sluts? Well, if we are interpreting your usage of slut to refer specifically through the definition of sex, he falls for her because his pursuit to having sex is far easier to achieve, than with someone like you.
However, this is what I think. I want to know what you think. Why do you think guys fall for sluts?
One Gentleman's Perspective 
This is going to make a lot of girls, especially the teens, to think again before emulating someone else just to be in the good books of guys!
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You’re absolutely right, in my opinion. The message they’re receiving today, especially on social media, leads them down the wrong path in my opinion. They are in dire need of a counter message, which balances out the horrible advice. It doesn’t matter where the counter message is coming from. I only care that it’s sound information.
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I really enjoyed reading this post! I know that I have definitely asked that question myself at some time or another, and the way you break it down is very logical. It makes complete sense and I can agree with that statement. And to all the women and girls out there who complain about it, don’t think of it in a negative way. Think of it as filtering out the guys who aren’t right for you. Don’t take it as a rejection. Just know that you and the guy are looking for different things. I’ve been in the situation where I was looking for a relationship and the guy was looking for sex. We parted ways with no feelings hurt because we had different objectives and goals.
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That’s what I seek to conclude in each post–expressing the information as logically as possible, by removing the fluff that can cause issues in its clarity. Thank you for understanding where I was coming from.
“And to all the women and girls out there who complain about it, don’t think of it in a negative way. Think of it as filtering out the guys who aren’t right for you.”
If we have a daughter, this is what I want her to understand. You’re not losing, when you make decisions where you’re not selling your soul. It may appear that you’re losing in the moment, but upon reflection, it becomes clear who the winner is. When your positions are on opposite ends of the spectrum, chalk it up as a valuable lesson and move on. He wanted sex, whereas you wanted more. Well, let him find someone else willing to deliver what he wants. You don’t have to lose yourself, simply to appease to him–ever.
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I think men fall for those who hold qualities that spark their interest. I think women do the same when they fall for a man. Attraction is as varied as humanity. “Sour grapes” on the other hand makes it very easy to ‘throw darts’ when we don’t get what we want. I think the whole “why do men fall for sluts” whine is as laughable as the “why don’t women like nice guys.” whine. In my observation, both come from people who simply have a bad case of “sour grapes”. They wanted someone and their target didn’t want them. They didn’t have the qualities that someone found value in and instead of just accepting that they don’t have the commonality to build a relationship on, they play the blame game. Just my opinion, and I know it isn’t a very popular one but it is what it is.
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I can see that perspective playing out. I can see some girls applying the label simply because he chose someone else. “It’s obvious he chose her because she’s easy.” I can definitely see this happening, and I’m sure it does. I can also understand that there are plenty of guys who choose someone who happens to be more willing to share herself, over someone else with a more selective position on sex. I see this happen often, and it has nothing to do with any other quality, except for the fact that the challenge of sex is practically absent.
Technically, he won’t “choose” her per se, as in having a romantic relationship. It’s more along the lines of preferring her company in a casual sense, because he knows sex is always something that will happen. With the other girl, if he desires sex but she refuses taking this sexual step, he knows regardless what he does, it won’t change her mind. Therefore, spending time with her is a waste of time in his mind. “After all, I’m not having sex out of this. What’s the point?”
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I thought we were talking about why guys fall for sluts? My answer was kinda based on that. Falling for someone and simply looking for a sexual encounter are two totally different things. In that case I have to wonder why a girl who doesn’t want sex would even be interested in a guy who only wants sex. Seems like poor judgment on her part?
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We are talking about that question. In the forums I discovered the question within this post, the issue is wanting to know why guys prefer easy girls (sluts), over girls opposite of the label. I focused my response by only addressing the sexual association of slut, and not the associations some people have such as the shortness of someone’s skirt, other clothing related matters, or anything else unrelated to the concept of “sexually easy.” It’s not that the girls asking the question, want the guys to have interest in them and not “sluts.” What I gathered from the different complaints is the confusion, as to why guys prefer sluts.
What is “clear as day” to me and other guys, remains absent for some girls. I know that if a guy is interested in sex only, and girl-A is incredibly beautiful, whereas girl-B is below average, girl-A will lose if she’s not willing to have sex as easily as girl-B. Some girls cannot understand why a guy would make such a choice, when girl-A brings “more” to the table.
Girl-A is unaware that the guy may only want sex, because the likelihood is that he will not come out and say, “I only want sex or else.” Even when it becomes clear that he chose the other girl because she’s “easier,” girl-A is still unable to grasp why sex plays such an important role. As I mentioned in the post, the age group of females asking this question, in my opinion, will be girls and not women. With age, she becomes more aware of relationship dynamics.
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I still think it all boils down to a very simple matter of personal preferences. We can talk sex, cooking skills, virginity, race, eye color, money, fancy cars, fame, a family name, a cute accent, strong faith in God, politics or whatever, but in the end we all seek out those who have what we want. No one wants to believe that they are not what the person they care for wants, so they want to excuse or villainize when it would just be healthier to realize it isn’t a good match and go on with their life. Villainizing or sanctifying a person because of their preferences is just not something that I’m comfortable with. Anyway, we may just disagree on this one and that’s ok because if we were both exactly the same, one of us would be redundant.
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I don’t think you and I disagreed or came to the same conclusion, involving this post that is. I say that because I didn’t ask the question within the headline. It’s something users posted on various forums/search engines, which I feel are usually girls inexperienced in the realm of relationships. Their inexperience makes it difficult to understand, why a guy would prefer the easiest path towards sex. I agree that it is a preference.
Some guys simply want the easiest path towards sex, and there are plenty of girls and women delivering this, just as there are plenty of girls and women opposite of this. There are also guys who prefer a sort of challenge. That’s a preference. Are you saying I villanized/sanctified one over the other? Or is it the users asking the question?
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I think it’s easy to find oneself in a position of villainizing/sanctifying especially when we would personally like our young women and young men to remain sexually inactive until they are old enough to comprehend all the physical, emotional and spiritual consequences involved. If we present those who don’t choose to wait as somehow inferior or weak we hope to give our argument for abstinence a better footing but all we do in the end is confuse the issue further. I think you came close to villainizing young men but you didn’t cross that line. I think most people go crashing right over it.
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The words used in my response did not vilify, or uplift one position over the other. Instead, the girls asking this question feel they’re at a disadvantage, and the reality is, that’s not the case–through my perspective. I cannot speak for all males, but each one I encounter is formulated through the response I provided. The general consensus is that when the goal is sex, he will seek out the path of least resistance. With time, when he no longer views sex as the only thing of interest, he then decides to pursue someone who doesn’t appear “sexually easy.”
This post was not about abstinence or rejecting the notion of having sex. Instead, I want the person asking the question to understand she doesn’t have to change who she is, in order to appease to someone, if his only objective is to have sex. In other words, you don’t need to resort to having sex if you don’t want to, all to make a guy find you interesting. There are plenty of girls I know from experience, who give into the act of sex, because they think this will make a guy like them.
I also want her to understand she is not “losing.” I actually pointed out that I don’t care how many partners a girl/woman decides to have, because in the end, that’s her business. I was the guy in this post, and there are millions of others who act in this manner, so I wasn’t vilifying my former self or those still practicing this behavior. Maturity changes a guy’s perspective on many things, and this behavior is one of them.
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My question to this question is:
Do guys really “fall in love” with these girls?
Or do guys just “like” them for sex?
If guys just like them for sex, then the whole falling in love with these so-called “sluts” is mute.
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In the post, I mentioned that the girls posting this particular question are usually inexperienced in the subject. After reading their thoughts, “fall” is not directly connected to “love.” It’s simply how they worded the question. With their inexperience, it’s difficult for them to understand why a guy would choose someone sexually easy over them. With time and an overall understanding, they will develop a greater awareness.
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