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Bigotry, Bloggers, Couples, Dating, Interracial, Love, OneGentlemansPerspective, Opinion, Race, Racism, Romance, Sex, Social Media, Society
In a general sense, people are afraid to speak freely. I am not referring to provocateurs and professional victims, residing in places where it rains pancake syrup, and rainbows are made of skittles.
I am referring to regular rational-minded individuals. They understand there are consequences for speaking freely, even though they may reside in countries where they have protection under the freedom of speech.
Whenever you provide someone anonymity, I genuinely believe this is where you will discover someone’s real opinion on anything.
Are you interested to know how someone feels about a hot button issue? Provide them anonymity, and they will sing like the most divine opera performer.
As mentioned in a previous post, my brother asked me to discuss the topic of race, both from an internal perspective (issues within the Black population) and from an external perspective (issues that involve non-Black individual).
To set the stage, I am the last person to force matters subjectively, to push a racial perspective. However, in no way does that sentence undermine the existence of racism. Racism is as real as a heart transplant, but it does not mean everything is always of a racist nature.
We overuse terms like sexism and racism with such intensity; it bloody undermines what the words even mean. If everything is racism and sexism, is anything actually racism or sexism any longer?
We can debate that for another day. However, I am not blind to the fact that racism does exist; even though I will never participate on the team it is always about racism.
We often say the discussion of race is one we should dissect openly, but whenever this happens in the public sphere, people run and hide. I have an interracial marriage, as some are aware.
This means that our children will engage with other children. If adults are afraid to discuss the topic of race, how will our children properly engage, when the other children are unaware of the discussion?
In other words, if adults are fearful to approach the topic, how is this in any way helpful for the next generation?
I want to see if it is possible for us to begin those discussions here. I will do so by either creating topics on my own, or approach topics that I encounter offline or online.
First up is a comment on an interesting blog, which seems to consider Black people as a whole, as disgusting and vile.
I usually laugh, whenever I encounter someone who speaks in this manner. I do not become upset or react irrationally. Instead, I laugh.
I know that sounds strange but my sense of humor can be incredibly dark according to my wife, if the situation involves people trying to insult me, or someone else through an illogical perspective.
In other words, they expect a negative reaction, or a specific reaction. Well, I refuse to give it to them.
With that said, this comment comes from a Caucasian male, addressing his disdain for Caucasian women. Well, specifically, the ones romantically involved with Black males.
Once I find out a woman’s been with a black guy (and I have), she’s irreparably damaged as far as I’m concerned. It’s a very strong marker for ‘I make terrible life decisions that will bring you down too.’
Surprisingly, I respect when people express their views openly, especially racially related ones. I know how to deal with you.
However, when people are undercover racists, well, they are like chameleons. They can blend into both sides of the conversation.
In a public setting, they will have a disdain for things like White Supremacy groups, but in private, it is ni**er this and ni**er that. They are like chameleons.
The quote above involving Black males and Caucasian women is an interesting one. Does it bother me? Not one bit. Why am I addressing the comment, if it does not bother me?
I often read articles and hear people say that racism is dead, because the United States elected its first biracial president.
The election of Barack Obama will not end racism, and to be honest, I do not think racism will ever end. There are certain things that become part of us, which the next generation learns from the previous.
With time, the old beliefs become part of the next generation. It is a sad reality, but a reality nonetheless. Some people are good and some people are bad. Evil acts occur daily, but we know that decent acts occur daily as well.
The blogger with the comment above, will pass down his beliefs to his children. The other bloggers commenting will pass their message down as well. I am not upset with this understanding.
I understand how life works, but as mentioned before, I can respect people whom are openly against individuals who look like me.
However, I cannot respect those who smile in my face, yet in private, are members of the most hateful groups online or offline.
Once I find out a woman’s been with a black guy (and I have), she’s irreparably damaged as far as I’m concerned. It’s a very strong marker for ‘I make terrible life decisions that will bring you down too.’
This is not my first encounter with such a saying. In fact, we can trace this belief back to the first encounter with Black slaves hundreds of years ago.
While Black female slaves became sex toys for their slave-owners, the mere glance of a Black male in the direction of a Caucasian woman was grounds for his hanging.
Quite strange, no?
The slave owners ravished Black females daily, but for some reason, they had this fear or hatred for encounters between Black males and Caucasian women. Why?
If you enjoyed raping Black female slaves on a daily basis, why did you fear a mere glance between Black male slaves and Caucasian women?
Take this walk with me for a bit. I want to dissect this inferiority complex, which is present in a number of racist males today.
As a male plantation owner, you could own several hundred slaves. They worked on your plantation without pay. Sexually, you had the ability to choose any of your female slaves, and in some instances, male slaves. However, someone without an identity of his own threatens you.
A man whose life you could snuff out without a valid reason is threatening. It pains you to think this lower being, could capture the sexual attention of your wife, sister or daughter. If that is not insecurity at its highest level, I do not know what is.
This insecurity traveled down to present day, where the greatest offense for some of these individuals is not their daughter engaging with a drug addict, emotionally or physically abusive male, but a Black male.
It would not matter if this Black male were the owner of the Tennessee Titans, cardiac surgeon or investment advisor. Being Black will always outweigh everything.
Once I find out a woman’s been with a black guy (and I have), she’s irreparably damaged as far as I’m concerned. It’s a very strong marker for ‘I make terrible life decisions that will bring you down too.’
Why is there such a disdain for White women having romantic involvement with Black males?
At the core of this issue is that Black males have the reproductive power to destroy the White race, as they so eloquently put it. Whenever I engage with these individuals, you cannot help but question their sanity.
If you are a racist Caucasian male, what is one of your greatest fears? By their logic, one of the biggest fears is the romantic involvement of Black males, continuously reproducing with Caucasian females. If this happens enough, in their eyes, it will end the White race.
Alrighty then.
In that blog’s perspective, when Caucasian women become romantically involved with Black males, they become tainted. She becomes akin to rotten meat.
Here is why I find these individual incredibly illogical. Let us say he does encounter this woman, and let us say her previous three boyfriends were Black.
If this woman does not make it apparent that she did have relationships with Black males, does he outright pose the question? What will happen if her answer to his question is a no?
Will he discover the answer because she loves fried chicken, or listens to Jay-Z? What verifiable evidence would lead him to say…
Aha, I knew you were tainted by a Black Mandingo Warrior.
In my opinion, you can have whatever views you desire when it involves race. I only ask that you remain logical in these views. In short, make sense. Do not say…
I don’t want you with him because crime stats show Blacks make up the largest percentage of criminals
I don’t want you with him because he will get you pregnant and leave
I don’t want you with him because I heard they like hitting their women
These views are irrelevant, unless the person in question is actually a criminal, abandons their children and is physically abusive. You are making a human issue, into a racially driven one. That is illogical.
This is why I laugh at these individuals, because making sense and their perspective are on different sides of the country, with no mode of transportation to bring them together. In other words, their perspective is usually absent of critical thinking.
This is my perspective. I am far more interested in reading yours. What do you think of the quote? Please do not shy away from responding.
Since this topic is considered a hot button issue, for new readers, if you wish to respond with a disagreement, please read my posts involving the subject of disagreeing here and here.
In all honesty, what image do you have of Black males? When you compile your personal experience and media coverage, what is your overall conclusion?
One Gentleman's Perspective 
Well there’s a provocative post! 😉
It’s been my experience that men can be very territorial, something driven more by biology then by racism. This is something I’ve seen in men of all races. People tend to be somewhat tribal, territorial, men especially. Their stuff, their women, their territory…That’s not all bad, some of it is their job, their role, something we need in the world. It can easily get distorted and perverted, however.
Because of this I tend to cut men some slack, especially when it comes to their bigotry. I may be thinking, “dude, that’s pathetic,” but I can often see where it comes from, what is going on there right beneath the surface.
Of course white women are not tainted if they date or marry black men, but yes that is a real thing in the world and people will bump into it. There is a racial competitiveness in men that you sometimes see.
It’s not just a black and white issue however, pun intended, you encounter the same thing when people marry out of religion, when Italians marry Scots, when Asians marry Indians.
All I can tell you about mixed kids is that nature and God sure seem to like diversity, because some the most attractive and healthiest kids come from blended families.
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I can definitely see the tribalism concept, because on my college campus, even though my other classmates would have friends from different backgrounds, they innately gravitate to those with a similar physical appearance or language.
The difference with this guy, and his side of the blogosphere involves his position. It is not an in-group bias against all others. His entire blog, which by the way he has every right to have, focuses purely on his hatred for Blacks. I actually found the comments and few posts I read rather comical (that’s my dark sense of humor).
It’s one thing if his territorial claim to Caucasian women was widespread. As in addressing all non-Caucasian men, and not simply the Black ones. I could then conclude through his words, that he hates everyone. However, when he only focuses on Black males, that’s exceeding a mere territorial claim.
I read several hateful blogs on WordPress. I shared some with my wife, and she was shocked with the blogger’s wording. I wasn’t shocked, because I know there are insane folks from all cultures.
You have some Blacks who despise Black men who date interracially, but admire when Black women date interracially. You have Blacks who simply detest anyone Black, dating non-Black partners.
You have Caucasian men like the one above, who considers Caucasian women dating Black men, as race traitors. I get a nice laugh from them all, because as I tell my wife, “When you encounter such lunacy, you can either feel sad or laugh.” I choose laughter each time.
I see romance this way, if the person makes you happy, and you are not breaking any rules (they are not underage, not consenting, etc), I couldn’t care less if one person were green and the other beige. What works for you is your business. Personally, I vibe with actions, behaviors, etc. I don’t align to someone because of their skin color, country of origin, religion, etc.
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We do have a long way to go on the racism front and it works on both sides of the argument and right down the middle for those of us who have the genes of both or even many races in us. President Obama is a good example because he is not just a black man or a just white man or even just a mixed race man he is a huMAN. We show our hidden fears when we insist on the labels.
“If you are a racist Caucasian male, what is one of your greatest fears? By their logic, one of the biggest fears is the romantic involvement of Black males, continuously reproducing with Caucasian females. If this happens enough, in their eyes, it will end the White race.”
I was called to a meeting with two of my black staff (the color only matters because of what came next). These are not hateful people, they are friends. I’ve been in their homes, we’ve laughed and cried together over the years. We’ve watched our kids grow up together for more than five years now. Turns out they were “deeply concerned” that my adult daughter was hanging out with a black male staffer. Not because he’s a bad guy or even because he works with her but only because of the color of their skin.
Once we dug through all the lame excuses about why they were concerned and I countered each one, they came down to practically the same words you said. They don’t like interracial couplings because they are “afraid that it will end the black race, hurt their culture, take away from what belongs to black women.” I told them my hope was that in time we’d all be so mixed up that no one could identify who was from what. They were highly offended by that.
Even when I reminded them that our family tree has “black blood” they simply laughed it off saying that since we don’t “appear” black or “act” black then we are white in their eyes. When I pointed out that those same things are said by white racists, they agreed that on some points the white racists are correct and that mixing races is one thing they agree is bad. When I asked if that makes them racist they said that black people can’t be racist.
I have and will always try to understand and respect folks opinions but this one actually made me cry. In Memphis the race issues can be flipflopped since we are 70-80 percent black here. I suppose it’s only natural that we are more comfortable with folks who are “like us”. I understand that the men in power in our city are the same ones who as youth were made to pay the same price as a white man but only allowed to enter at the side entrance to the Orpheum if they wanted to see a show. Obviously those feelings are close to the surface but it doesn’t excuse some of the comments they make on the news during elections that are blatantly racist. Memphis has come a long way but we have a long way to go and I’m not the patient type when it comes to the equal treatment of humans.
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First, thank you for reading and sharing your response. As I referenced in the post, when the subject involves race, people run and hide. They do this for a number of reasons. I have a high number of views regarding this particular post, but the moment I wrote the piece, I knew the discussion would not match with the view count.
That’s completely fine of course, but I was hoping to see the viewpoint of others regarding this question, even if the person replied with, “Yes. I believe they are tainted.”
Whenever I read about the discussion of race online, one of the first replies I encounter is that, “The US elected Barack Obama, so racism is dead.” I don’t interject myself in the discussion, I simply observe and realize they’re using the logical fallacy known as Perfect Solution.
The idea is that the perfect solution to ending racism arrived in the form of Barack Obama. There is no “one,” or perfect solution to end racism. To proclaim otherwise is rather misleading.
There’s this idea that people don’t like to talk about, as openly as we should, but it’s something you experienced. There are a number of Black people who detest the idea of Caucasian women and Black men together.
I know the countless reasons and politically correct jargon used, but they are not the primary reasons for the disdain. In the example of your comment, you discovered this, after finally getting them to admit they simply dislike the notion of Black men/Caucasian women together.
I accept this position: “I cannot stand White women with Black men together because people should stay with their own.” It’s silly, because biologically, humanity had one source. However, I accept it. We all came from the same place. This concept of “their own” goes against critical thinking, because we came from the same place.
In reality, what they want to say is that, “Although we all came from the same place, people should remain with those they physically look like.” It’s still an emotional thing to say, and void of critical thinking, but I accept the position. Racism–it’s a representation of people being comfortable.
What does this mean? It allows people, regardless who they are, to remain complacent with their beliefs against other people, and beliefs they hold about themselves. Anything opposing their viewpoint makes them uncomfortable. Racism is a state of being comfortable.
I will not raise a child to hold such emotional views. My wife will not allow our child (when we eventually have one that is) to become conditioned, where they base the worthiness of someone else, by the color of their skin.
In my opinion, you cried because you were in the presence of people you have respect, and shared a close connection. Their perspective was like a left hook to the gut, because you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. If this were a member of the KKK–the position makes sense. However, you were taken aback, because the perspective came from a place you did not expect.
From the outside looking in, I will tell you that many people who look like me, think in the manner of your friends. They don’t openly say it to others, but for those they feel comfortable sharing the information, it’s common knowledge. It saddens me that many who look like me, have a similar point of view to that of White supremacist groups.
It saddens me that people still base the worth on someone because of their “race,” and less on the actions of an individual.
I’m truly sorry you had to experience such an irrational viewpoint. I won’t throw a politically correct excuse on their behavior. It’s simply irrational. I find that so many people today, are incapable of removing their emotions from hot button issues, and assessing through critical thinking. Race is one of those hot button issues.
As for “Looking Black” or “Acting Black,” I honestly view the concepts as problematic on several levels. I think I should address in their own blogs, so thank you for bringing them up. Please excuse the length. This topic is an important one for me. In fact, the subject of race is perhaps the most important I’ve ever written on this blog. Thank you sincerely for your openness.
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We keep it open in our home, anything is up for discussion. My neighbors call our home the mini united nations because all are welcome here. In a city like ours if one wants their children to be raised in diversity one has to make it happen. It won’t happen in church or in school or at work. That’s sad but it’s also true. I see it with other races too. If we can just keep talking, and keep our sense of humor we can keep inching along on the right path
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That’s a beautiful thing. We learn when we encounter opposing point of views. It allows us to gather insight, which is different to the ones we currently hold.
When we live in an echo chamber, where we reject anything that opposes our position, or questions the logic involving our positions, this is when you develop a cult-like position/indoctrination. This is why I enjoy reading comments. Even if someone disagrees, as long as we keep it civil and minimize logical fallacies in our opposing views, I fully embrace one’s position.
In my observation, by analyzing social media that is, if you even think of commenting with an opposing point of view, it’s now considered harassment. The freedom of exchanging ideas is now becoming a place to quell actual discussion. It becomes difficult to learn in such an environment.
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I wrote a series on racism on another blog and I know that the debates can get heated. Most writers don’t really want opinions and if you can’t tell from the tone of the article then you can discover which ones do and don’t by simply engaging them.
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I think people enjoy residing in echo chambers, because opposing perspectives call into question their position. Personally, whether someone agrees or disagrees with my perspective is unimportant.
The only thing that I consider problematic is when someone reads my perspective, impose their feelings, generate an argument/position that is not present and then argue against that position if I created it. I see this quite often in the blogging arena.
The best example is when they use personal attacks, as opposed to applying a logical response against my perspective. Apart from that, I enjoy dialogue.
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It can be hard to tell what others will interpret our words to mean so I try to allow room for I meant one thing but they read another. All in all the written word can be a difficult medium to communicate through but it’s what we have so we do what we can. I don’t do personal attacks. If I’m that revved up it’s time to sign off.
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You are correct. In my experience, I get around this by solely focusing on the actual words present. If there is any confusion on my end, I ask a question. I find it’s best to remove my emotions from the equation, because when I add myself into the mix, it can negatively influence my response. You are in the minority, because you find it’s best to remove yourself after becoming riled up. Some choose to increase their personal attacks.
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Well I don’t rile easily and never for long. I conquered the battle with temper long long ago. When I read I try to focus on the words with the salt of favor. Meaning if a sentence can be interpreted in two ways I choose the way that is more positive. I try to give folks the benefit of the doubt. I figure we’re all in this together and we can all use a break. 🙂
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This is a rarity indeed. I’ve encountered a handful of viewers who find themselves on my side of the blogosphere.
As opposed to objectively assessing my perspective and understanding that it’s an opinion (thus the word perspective), they launch personal attacks by addressing something that wasn’t present in the post. LoL.
It’s the funniest thing ever honestly. My wife knows I love those sorts of comments, but she also knows I get bored after a while, if their rebuttals continue on a path leading nowhere. It might be overkill, but I have to say it again, thank you for remaining civil. I find that we don’t share enough compliments, when they are well deserved. Comments like yours are why I enjoy sharing my perspective. Thanks.
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You’re welcome, you set the tone in your blog for civil discourse and that makes it easy for me. It’s refreshing to meet others who can simply communicate well.
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That’s a rather nice compliment. I humbly accept it, because I understand the opposite behavior on social media. It would be such a different platform, if people learned how to communicate more effectively.
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My answer would be “no.” I can understand concerns with mixing two different cultures but “tainted?” Jeez. Your post reminded me of this adorable family who had two sets of twins, each set had one white and one black baby.http://punnky.com/black-and-white-twins-born-for-the-second-time-in-the-same-family
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Thank you for reading this difficult piece, and then sharing your perspective. I understand subjects like “race,” will usually cause people to run in the opposite direction. Thank you.
Whenever we remove the emotions, and assess the subject of race through critical thinking and objectivity, it helps to remove the fluff that can exist through a purely emotional perspective. For instance, they say that our children will be an abomination because they will be biracial. That’s not a response through critical thinking or objectivity. That’s an emotional and irrational position. I look forward to checking out that link. Thank you again.
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A lot of these things are actually born of natural drives. It just happens that these people are aware of their drive and trying to rationalize it. On one level, women often have “types”. When we date a man outside our usual trend for partners, it makes this partner or subsequent partners question permanence. Naturally, if someone is attracted to X and they are dating or once dated Y, then why did this happen? What was different? Was it a meaningless exception, or was the relationship with Y an indication of current desires and relationship goals? If you’re an X, then what’s your guarantee she won’t fancy Y again and break up or cheat? If you’re a Y, what’s your guarantee you are actually her type and she doesn’t want you for another reason? All of these aren’t conscious questions, but an inbuilt drive that seems to activate when people start seeing a relationship as serious. Yes, it’s insecurity, but it’s because, as far as your reproductive drive is concerned, she has given a signal she is not a secure, permanent part of your life. And if she’s trying to act permanent, that will seem suspicious.
Another aspect is just genes. There is some DNA transfer through unprotected sex that results in RNA mutation. Even performing oral sex decreases a woman’s chances of early miscarriage, with that particular man, at least. When a heterosexual couple have unprotected sex, they are basically prepping the woman’s body to accept that man’s embryo. The disgust response when a woman has “bred” with a very different looking man is the same as when a woman has “bred” with men into double or triple digits. It’s a basic fear that she will already have offspring, already be pregnant or be prepped for another man’s baby, making embryo implantation harder for you. It’s basically a warning sign that this man is sought for provision and his chances of reproduction are lower with that woman than with a more chaste woman or a woman who seems more genuinely into him.
There are many more factors, such as the ‘woman leaving the home’ pattern of tribal intermarriage and its biological origins, but the short form is that the disgust response (however culturally tainted or immaculate you want to believe its expression is) is born of the perfectly natural desire to reproduce with a woman and not be led on or tricked into raising infants that aren’t yours or supporting a woman who will cheat or abandon the tribe.
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Thank you for sharing your insight, because I understand the difficult nature surrounding the subject of race.
Racism is a defense mechanism for people. In other words, it’s a shield that people use to defend against anything that’s out of their comfort zone. Think of it as a way to cope with insecurities. The things that trigger one’s insecurity, are usually the things that make them feel uncomfortable–in my opinion.
Black men/women, do not own Black men/women. Korean men/women do not own, Korean men/women. Caucasian men/women, do not own Caucasian men/women. In other words, this sense of ownership that any of them have is rooted in a false sense of entitlement and insecurity.
We can dissect the insecurity in a number of ways to justify the position, but they are merely excuses.
When you have a sense of oneness and peace within yourself, it is highly improbable for you to hold such views. In my experience, the people holding onto racism, do not have this oneness I speak of. They are far too insecure to discover themselves, because they are too concerned with others. One cannot have this oneness, when they reject understanding who they are as an individual.
If a woman dating someone who goes opposite of her norm, causes a man to question her sense of commitment in a monogamous relationship, that has more to do with his inferiority complex and low self-esteem, than anything else. For instance, I would never think of such a thing, but then again, I don’t have an inferiority complex.
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When I was part of the White Nationalist community, I was more there for a sense of tribe than anything else. My own family was less than desirable and I don’t really relate well to whole communities when I live in them, so a community I could pick and choose, that leaned towards traditionalism and resembled myself felt more like an extended family or a home than anything else.
I have always been and still am a huge believer that the races should be preserved. I quite like the difference and variety of races and cultures that exists between France and Australia, or Zimbabwe and Thailand, that disappears in countries like Brazil. I’m also certain there are some traits more common in each ethnicity, let alone races, that are heritable and part of their genetic history. If I can’t deny that I (Western Slavic) am very distinct in body structure, mentality, innate talent, etc than Jon (Pictish Celtic), and that we both seem to resemble those of our ethnicities more than anything else, how could I deny that races also have distinct features? But I’m also of the opinion that whatever wants to survive will survive. If every single person in, say, Vietnam chose to only date aboriginal Australians and wiped out their ethnic heritage in a hundred years, then why would we stop them? Peoples mix and change and break down and blend all the time. My ethnicity has a lot more Neanderthal in it than Jon’s does, and possibly some Hun at some point in time. Jon’s ethnicity is largely untouched by the other populations that lived in England due to their historic violence and xenohpbia. Yet down the line we’re still part of the White race, we’re just different morphs of it. So there isn’t really any fear. If whites die out, it will be because we choose to. If my geneline dies out, it will be because it chooses to. If it blends or evolves into something else and is preserved, then that is a better result than if it remains “clean” and dies out in 4000 years.
That level of neutrality and introspection is hard when you lean towards ethnic tribalism, though. You really need to have a good look at genetics, evolution and history to see that ethnic tribalism is always a short term affair and that in the long term, humans do whatever they want, so why bother them?
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I can understand that position. Some people feel more comfortable within a group they can relate. They desire a place where they feel they belong. I can respect your opinion, which says that people should align with those they share a similar background.
In my opinion, we (human race) did not begin as the collection of people we are today. So in reality, if the objective is to preserve ourselves, this is going against the beginning/origin. Over generations, the different regions assisted in the people of said region adapting to the land (formulate languages, cultures, skin pigmentation, etc). However, at the core or the origin of the human race, we all came from the same source. We can personally deny this, but science will win this debate each time, and agree with my statement of one origin. However, I completely respect your initial assessment, concerning people remaining with those with a similar background.
As you concluded, ethnic tribalism is always a short term affair and that in the long term, humans do whatever they want, so why bother them. I believe people will choose someone they desire, regardless of the things that may typically disconnect them from one another (religion, class, ethnicity, etc). Thank you for your openness and civility on this subject.
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It’s always good to find someone to have a civilized exchange with on this sort of subject. People on both sides of the debate are often too emotionally invested and angry to talk. 🙂
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You’re 100 percent correct. The emotional investment, when it involves what I consider a hot button issue, negatively influences the position. Instead of addressing the issue objectively, your mind becomes clouded, where the defense mechanism kicks in to latch onto personal attacks. That’s such a destructive position to take, and I don’t care if it’s in the blogging community, political debate, etc.
It’s a horrible means of communication. Whenever I encounter civility online, I make sure the other person is aware. I do this because I see more of the opposite behavior, and if we can point out bad behavior, we shouldn’t have an issue commending those who refuse to embrace bad behavior.
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Then I commend you too. We may not see eye to eye, but at least you understand my perspective and that of my old friends, express your perspective well and are pleasant to talk to.
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Reblogged this on lifegoesonafterabreakup.
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Thank you for checking out this post, but also sharing it. The controversial nature may turn many off, so thank you for spending a few moments reading the perspective. I am greatly appreciative.
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I will answer your question with a question.
Is a woman with blue eyes tainted if she dates a man with brown eyes? Is a woman with blonde hair tainted if she dates a man with black hair?
That’s the reality of these questions, just colour. Nothing more, we are all the same species, the human race. Unfortunately, there are ignorant and cruel people, but they too are human. I don’t call it racism, I call it prejudiced.
I must have done something right to teach this to my children. Please take a look …
https://fashionableover50.wordpress.com/2014/01/17/empty-nest-euphoria/
BTW, my grandchildren are gorgeous!!
❤ carmen
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I find that I can hold a conversation with just about anyone, even those who disagree with my point of view. In fact, when that happens, it gives me insight into the thought process of an opinion different from mine.
However, I reject continuing a conversation with someone who refuses to apply reason to a position. For instance, imagine someone says, “I hate Japanese people.” I’ll entertain his or her position by asking for an explanation. The conversation for me ends the moment this person answers, with something nonsensical like, “Because Japanese people stink.” That’s an irrational position, and my time is valuable, so I surely won’t waste another moment entertaining such nonsense. I see this often online, when the subject involves race/ethnicity. I get why a child may speak in this manner, but I expect more maturity from adults.
When we do begin parenthood, we will never infuse such bigoted views to our children.
I will definitely give your entry a read. I’ve been quite absent from anything blog related…nearly a month to be honest. This explains the delay in my response. My apologies.
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Omg that video! So they weren’t afraid of that freaky looking mask but what was underneath.
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When my wife read the post long ago, your response reflects her reaction as well. LoL.
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Great post. Not a lot of people want to talk about big issues. You can see by my mom’s comment (Carmen, above) that my family is open and welcoming to all people. I am so lucky that they never even questioned why I was dating a black man (whom I later married). I don’t think they even commented on it! The most important thing is that he’s a good man and treats me well. There are gems and creeps of all colors.
I just listened to an NPR post about how black men in America are feared, even from a young age. That bias and discrimination starts young and is so destructive. Often, people fear the unknown, but in the US, there’s the added layer of the history of slavery to complicate things.
I was raised in a home that didn’t discriminate and went to school in a district (Toronto) with kids from every continent. That diversity expanded my world. I’m better for it.
I also believe in the human race 🙂
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Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, especially involving this topic. I understand from personal experience, the more discomfort the topic creates, the less a person feels they can speak. That’s one reason I continue writing. I like to create a sense of discomfort, and hopefully, it will remove others from this place of comfort, and open them to an eventual conversation.
My mum and dad did not condition me to believe one group is superior, or inferior to the other because of race. Similar to your mum, the thing of relevance is not the exterior, but whether the person treats you well, etc. Race, hair color, eye color…these things are irrelevant, when it comes to a person’s ability to be a good partner. For the life of me, I cannot understand the importance we continue placing on race, and the worth of an individual.
There are decent tall people, just as there are horrible tall people. There are law abiding Mexicans, Blacks, Caucasians, etc…just as there are Mexicans, Blacks and Caucasians who break the law on a daily basis.
“That bias and discrimination starts young and is so destructive. Often, people fear the unknown, but in the US, there’s the added layer of the history of slavery to complicate things.”
This is how stereotypes go from being merely stereotypes, where they evolve into a “fact.” “Due to X committing a crime, it’s obvious that all those who look like X are subhuman.” It’s completely void of logic, so as opposed to becoming upset, I simply view it as an irrational perspective.
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Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Please keep writing about important issues. I like how you bring people together in conversation and keep things civil, even when tempers could flare.
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Oh, I do like when people make comments like “a white woman who dates a black man is tainted.” Of course I hate that level of ignorance, but it’s better for people to out themselves as racist. It makes it easier for me to know who to befriend and who to walk away from.
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We are in the same boat, in that regard. I view it as a form of spring cleaning, where their words dictate whether they have a place in my life or not. Don’t get upset, because it will be of detriment to you. I see it as a way to weed out cancers from my life. LoL
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