Whenever I write, the message usually occurs with a target in mind. The concepts come to me, because I experience the discussions offline and other times online. In other words, it may not be for you, but the message is for someone.
As for the recipient of this particular message, I have no idea of the intended recipient. I simply write. I find inspiration in the strangest places and at the weirdest times.
The problem we collectively have as a people or in other words, humanity as a whole, involves the way that we equate horrible-minded women, with women as a whole. We also equate horrible-minded men, with men as a whole.
This is akin to the connection some people make when…
The nightly news often shows an armed robbery→the culprit is usually a poor Black male→armed thieves are therefore Black→all Black males are therefore criminals.
In my personal life, I have encountered this assessment. It is guilt by association. However, this is obviously not representative of everyone.
Nonetheless, due to my physical features, the individuals with this stereotype will trace me back to everything negative experienced or witnessed, involving Black males.
I see the application of this concept often with women. I should not have to set a distinction that I am not referring to all women. It is self-explanatory that I do not know all women. Instead, I am referring to the number of heterosexual women confidently shouting the phrase, I don’t need a man.
Once again, to these women, I will say you are correct and that is why you will forever remain single. Here is a little secret I have learned from my female elders…
Women who say they don’t need a man, will project this energy into all potential suitors. Like a bug repellent, this woman subconsciously becomes unattractive, and it has little to do with her physical appearance.
In my personal experience, the ones using this phrase are usually projecting their inability to understand the differences between…
Needing a companion to survive
Needing a companion, in the sense that we as humans need connections with other people.
My wife will still be able to smile, watch movies, go shopping with friends, enjoy dinner with her family and travel to different countries, even if our relationship did not exist.
In other words, she does not need any man, to survive and go about her daily routine.
However, she needs a connection with me, or another romantic partner, because well, we are not meant to be alone. When you encounter a woman with an understanding for the differences between the concepts, she is unlikely to say, I don’t need a man.
What do I find most interesting about this topic? Well, whenever I encounter a woman aware of this particular difference, she’s likely to have positive relationships with her male partner. This is no coincidence.
Are there people who live alone? Yes, but once again, living alone and being alone, does not deny that humans are not meant to be alone.
I don’t need a man—this is a phrase, which I believe occurs with people refusing to understand that relationships are a team sport.
They enter relationships with such a domineering and overtly independent attitude, it infringes on the psyche of the average male. I am sorry to break it to these women, but heterosexual men will not tolerate two penises in the relationship.
Let me address this concept, before the message is misconstrued. A woman is not the slave of her companion. She is not his pet.
When I reference the concept of infringing on the psyche of males, I am addressing women purposely emasculating her heterosexual male partner.
Regardless what occurs outside of his house, you can all but guarantee that within the walls of his home, a man does not want to feel emasculated by his partner. How does this occur? It occurs when she undermines the things that make him feel like a man.
My wife considers me as head of household, which means she is not looking to challenge my position as a man. She does not desire to be a man in our relationship, because one is already present.
It does not make her beneath me, less than or inferior in any way. This is not about splitting roles in the household, where X is suited for males and Y is suited for females. Heck, I think I wash dishes and do more of the laundry than she does.
This simply involves her not feeling the need to challenge me as a man. Sadly, I see this in relationships often, and the men appear quite vocal when it occurs.
I am grateful that my wife was raised in a culture, which highlights women still wanting to be ladies, as opposed to women looking to emasculate men at every turn.
When men in the dating pool interact with women saying, I don’t need a man, it is an immediate turnoff. They know where the concept is coming from, because she expresses the words with a condescending tone.
They know the message is not about her sense of independence. Instead, it involves her thinking the independence is grounds to emasculate and become him.
It is akin to one lion challenging another lion, for dominance of the pride. Well, you are challenging this man for his pride.
I cannot speak for all men, but I can generalize…a man’s ego is akin to his birthright. LoL. If you continue destroying his ego, he will feel as if he has nothing left to his name.
I don’t need a man…well, you do and you do not. However, if you continue saying this, you most certainly will not attract a good one.
By the way, if you somehow interpreted sexism after reading this post, this sense of projection has more to do with you than anything else.
Although this is my perspective, I would love to read yours. As a man, have you ever encountered this before?
In your relationship as a woman, do you want to replace your partner? Do you believe a woman can still treat a man like a man, without feeling inferior to him?