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Some may consider this post going against the guy code, because of the information I reveal. However, I completely disagree. Always bear in mind with each post; the explanation comes through One Gentleman’s Perspective. I cannot speak for all females and I cannot speak for all males. In fact, I cannot even speak for all gentlemen. What I can do is express the opinion of a topic through One Gentleman, regardless of the simplicity or difficulty.
I cannot provide answers that represent all men, because I am only one guy. However, I was once on the other side, where I did some rather immature things in relationships, all because I wanted to fit in with my peers. More importantly, maturity does wonders for a boy on his pursuit towards adulthood.
Many guys would disagree with this perspective, but there are things I want my daughter to know, if we were to have a baby girl. With that said, there are things I want all women to understand and notice, in the beginning of any relationship with a guy.
You need to be aware of five signs, to help determine if a male is interested in you, or your kitty. Kitty is another way to say vagina, but it sounds sexier and while in public joking around, no one is aware of what my wife and I are saying.
Games are forms of entertainment, or something to pass the time, when you have a few moments in between an event. If you desire playing them, you can pick your poison: Xbox One, PlayStation 4, board games and a collection of games on your tablet or cell phone.
However, we do not play games with people’s emotions. Well, I believe we should refrain from playing games with others in this regard.
Ladies, the main sign that he does not have interest in you, involves an endless set of games. Everything in this list comes across as a branch, connected to a tree known as games. Try not to fall for them and before things become too serious, you can pack your bags and move on. Leave him there to play these games alone.
- A guy who refuses to value your opinion
From personal experience, this first idea is rarely, if ever, touched upon by anyone. However, with every step I take towards fulfilling a gentleman’s lifestyle, the more I understand how important it is to value someone’s opinion. When your role is entirely one for his sexual pleasure, all of your thoughts outside of this arena are completely meaningless.
A guy who truly values your opinion has interest in both hearing, and listening to your perspective on all things. Guys will not place any importance for a girl, whose opinion means nothing in his eyes. This may be difficult to grasp, but please understand this is the perspective of an immature mind. If he cares about you, then your opinion and point of view remain relevant.
There are subtle things you can, and should notice early on, that show whether he values your opinion. Are you able to make minor as well as important decisions? Can you voice your opinion on the agenda of your next date?
2. A guy who only desires your company for sex
This has origins with the first warning sign. Men typically love sex, as do women. This is a shocker, I know. In all seriousness, do not shun a man and his desire to explore every inch of your body. Sex is not the issue.
The issue is whether he only views you as a sexual conquest. He will not blatantly come out and tell you this, because he knows girls will typically shun any guy, who is only after sex. This is where you need to be aware of intuition and indirect signs. His actions prematurely show blatant red flags, if his interest is purely a sexual one.
If you cannot have a conversation without it somehow shifting to sex, you have a problem. If his idea of a date only involves sex, you have a problem. If he only contacts you during the booty call window, you have a problem.
A guy who is interested in you, will be interested in you…not merely interested in getting inside of you. Sometimes even he is oblivious to this, so if you ever find yourself in this situation, communicate your thoughts and provide evidence.
What is the booty call window? For those completely unaware, booty calls are short encounters via text or phone call, which occur around 12 A.M. onward. These encounters are usually to set in motion you stopping by for sex, or him stopping by for sex.
3. He constantly makes excuses that he does not have time, but for some strange reason, he has time for everyone else.
If a guy enjoys your company but only for sexual reasons, communication is not only minimal, but the method of communication is usually brief. However, when he has interest in you, those parameters do not exist.
What does this mean?
He will find a way to spend time with the things, and people he considers valuable. Of course, there are exceptions to everything. Perhaps his work limits communication, but if your partner is not in such a field, do not allow him to make excuses why time with you is not important.
If he can watch the entire NBA Finals, World Cup or Super Bowl, he can make time for you. Do not allow someone to devalue time with you. You and your time have importance. Make sure he knows this.
4. A guy who lies about his whereabouts
This is another big one. I have listened to various complaints from female friends asking the same question…Why did he say he was at X, when I personally know he was at Y. Do you know who often lies about their whereabouts? People who have something to hide, lie about their whereabouts.
A guy who lies about this, does not respect you, he only values your kitty. Your kitty is the only thing he desires, and once he accomplishes this goal, he may come back for more or he may never return.
There are plenty of guys who physically remain in a relationship, although the only thing they desire is the kitty. So, do not allow years together to equate to his level of respect, or your importance to him.
There are countless men celebrating 10+ years together with their wives and girlfriends, yet cheat as if it were going out of style.
5. A guy who completely rejects romance
In my culture, men in general will consider romance as handing money to their wives, and making sure that bills are paid. My wife would tell you that I am the complete opposite to the stereotypes of my country. Romance is key to any long-lasting romantic relationship.
Romance is what a man will do for a woman he values, respects and desires to satisfy thoroughly. Generally speaking, a guy who only wants your kitty, will only do the bare minimum for what is necessary to gaining access to your kitty.
If he is not willing to learn the art of romance, your heart will always ache for that which it lacks. We know a woman needs this. This belief is not a sexist one. In fact, it is purely biology. The wiring of our brains occurs in such a way, males and females generally interpret emotions, and acts of said emotions differently.
In a general sense, the average male would consider receiving a bouquet of red roses on Valentine’s Day, well, strange. However, the purchasing of roses for women on this holiday, it is the norm.
For any guy to deny you of romance, especially when all forms of media and cultures, generally consider the act of romance vital; this is a red flag.
There are many more signs to keep in mind, in order to understand if a guy is into you, or only interested in having sex. Sex is a beautiful thing, but only when both parties enter the act knowing there is nothing more and nothing less with the act. If she enters thinking sex is a part of the relationship, yet for him, sex is the only aspect of the relationship—that is a huge problem.
Please, pay attention to the signs above, because human nature is a funny thing. Even when we try to hide our true intentions, bits and pieces innately seep through the deception.
Great post! I love and appreciate your perspective on all these things. #3 is probably my biggest mistake and the one I see my friends making too. If someone want to see me, he will make an effort to. If someone wants to talk to me, he will call me. Just hard to put in to practice. When you like someone, you tend to be too quick to give them the benefit of the doubt.
One Gentleman said:
Thank you very much for the comment. I appreciate the kind words. Number 3 has been a constant piece, whenever I speak with the opposite sex. The way I see it is far simpler than others. We have one US President and even he makes time to call someone. Who the heck are you to think you have far more on your plate than Obama? Lol
It’s one of the reasons I’ve completely removed “busy” from my dictionary. I instead use “being productive.” When you value something, you’ll do whatever is necessary to dedicate time. When you don’t, you’ll make excuses as to why you can’t. I believe each person is innocent, until proven guilty. Give them the benefit, until they show you the benefit isn’t deserving.
Oh my gosh I LOVE that point about Obama. That’s great! Great point about changing your language too. Life is very much about outlook. People don’t realize how the connotation of their word choice can affect a person’s opinion or a situation. I’m big on giving the benefit too – until undeserved.
One Gentleman said:
It’s the best way that I could convey the concept of “busy.” Lol. Whenever I explain it that way, people always laugh. Life is very much about outlook. The mind believes, whatever you perceive and you perceive whatever you believe. I actually have a draft saved, in regard to the power of words. Lol.
A person should be given enough rope, until they decide to hang themselves with it. Lol. We don’t need to do anything but sit back, and watch them act in their natural element.
I can’t wait to read it! Words are incredibly powerful. And so true. A person’s true colors always end up showing.
Fish and Chips said:
Hi there, great blog post. If only I read this first before going out with that guy! hahha..
One Gentleman said:
Which red flag really stood out for you?
Great post. For me number one is always what I look for – are they interested in me and my mind? Do they in turn have anything to say to my mind. The other points are on point too. I enjoy reading your posts, thank you.
One Gentleman said:
Thanks for reading and understanding the message. Number one is definitely important. When you completely undermine someone’s opinion in the relationship, it is a clear indication how valuable you are in this relationship. Once again, thank you for reading and sharing your response.