The grass is always greener on the other side. People cheat for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes you want to see the difference between your yard and many others, but only on a temporary basis. Other times, you want to leave your current residence on a long-term basis. Regardless of the reason and duration, take a step back, and understand the position you are putting your partner through.
This post will not address whether I consider cheating an acceptable act, or one that is immoral.
I am approaching this topic from a different angle. Through One Gentleman’s Perspective, I want you to consider why you should never allow someone, to ever feel superior to your partner.
There are people whose sole mission is to seek out unavailable individuals. They seek out those in a relationship because it is a challenge.
The idea of succeeding at this challenge is a rush. In my opinion, it is a slap in the face of your wife, girlfriend, husband or boyfriend.
This is not a post passing judgment on the other woman or man.
In fact, this post is not about passing judgment on you, Mr. Cheating husband or boyfriend.
This is not a post to pass judgment on you, Mrs. Cheating wife or girlfriend. Specifically, this is about the subconscious fulfillment that the other woman or man gains, by taking you, the cheating partner away.
This is about undermining your wife, girlfriend, husband or boyfriend.
The rush of this challenge is directed at your partner…not you.
Keep in mind; I cannot speak for all individuals. I can only provide my experiences and therefore, I am not classifying this as a universal truth.
When I bring up a topic, the best way that I find brings clarity, occurs by explaining at its simplest level.
Imagine a child playing inside their room. She is playing with one particular doll, and seems to be quite happy.
Her younger sister walks in and reaches for a toy, currently positioned in the corner of the room, tucked underneath a mountain of other toys.
At this point, the older sister jumps up and angrily grabs it from her hands. Looking rather upset, she screams, This is MY toy. I am using it.
Funny, she was not using the toy, nor did she really care about it. The toy is so out of sight, out of mind, she is unable to tell you the last time it was in her possession.
Her desire is to make sure that you will experience a negative reaction, by not using the toy. As the little sister exits crying, the older sibling tosses the same toy to an unknown position in the room.
The possessive nature is not about the toy, in and of itself. Sadly, this behavior manifests differently for each person, as he or she matures.
Some are able to break away, but others are not so lucky. At the basic level of human behavior, we want what other people have and sometimes, we only see the value if someone else finds it interesting.
Generally speaking, the challenge to succeed can have a direct relation to the person they are attaining.
The other woman or man finds joy in knowing, they were able to break down the walls of someone in a faithful union.
However, others see the challenge as taking you from someone else. Therefore, the goal is to bring emotional harm to your partner, even if your partner is completely unaware of the infidelity.
In the mind of the other woman or man taking you away, it is enough for their ego that they know about the infidelity.
However, the satisfaction would increase if the partner was also aware, but this is not a necessary requirement for their emotional fulfillment.
As long as they know about the infidelity, this awareness is enough for them to feel superior to your partner, even if your partner is completely oblivious.
It is a game of sorts, because the stronger your relationship with your partner, the greater the satisfaction of the other woman or man.
For this individual, there is no greater stroke to the ego, than knowing they were able to attain the emotional and sexual attention of someone madly in love.
Do not allow someone to experience this level of superiority over your partner. It is an insult to your level of respect.
Before you make the decision to peek over the fence and see if the grass is greener, take a seat, reflect and communicate your grievances. If a solution is impossible at this point, mutually agree to separate or end the relationship entirely.
If you have any respect remaining for your partner, the last thing you should allow, is someone undermining his or her existence.
Before you decide to wonder into the next yard, I suggest dissolving the relationship. Your partner will respect this decision, far more than your infidelity.
Even if the grass is supposedly greener on the other side, give your partner enough respect to make a decision to leave or stay, before you venture elsewhere.
Is cheating right or do I consider cheating wrong? While creating this post, I did not seek to uncover a right or wrong conclusion. Instead, I wonder if straying is ever an acceptable position for your partner to exist, without their knowledge.