The time is now fifteen minutes after nine, which means your professor is once again late for class. You decide to check your Facebook feed for the sixth time, and you wonder why your friend continues documenting everything online about their newborn.
You think to yourself…
Does she keep anything to herself, or does she feel we need to know that her baby just pooped for the third time today?
As you scroll down, you have this burning sensation that someone is watching you.
You turn to your left, but you notice that the seat is empty. You turn to your right and there, he is staring at you as he does every morning. He quickly turns away when your eyes make contact.
What is wrong with this guy? Why does he always look at me?
This is a common question and I am sure with age, she begins to understand the why. However, there are younger and inexperienced individuals, where the answer behind why remains foreign.
Through One Gentleman’s Perspective, I believe the topic is worth addressing. By addressing the topic, I believe the answer will benefit both parties involved.
I hope to describe to her why it happens. I hope through this description, it will help him discover the next step in the process of this look.
Staring and glancing are two different things.
Staring refers to looking fixedly or vacantly at someone or something, with one’s eyes wide open.
Glancing refers to a brief or hurried look. When you do one (stare), it is a continuous and prolonged look. However, the other (glance) is brief.
I cannot speak for all males presently or all males from the past. I am speaking through my perspective, thus, an opinion.
He stares because…
One reason is that he finds you attractive. He is unable to approach you because he is unaware of the how. He is lost on what to say, even though he is well aware that you are attractive. He may want to approach you, but does not have the courage.
He glances because…
Similar to the individual above, an attraction may be present. With this glance, the intent is different.
Unlike the individual who stares, if an attraction is present, the glancer may not have the interest to approach you. Sometimes, he is simply taking a brief look in your direction that may not have anything to do with an attraction.
In summary, this glance in your direction does not mean there is a physical attraction. A number of females; young, mature, Black or White, believe every guy who glances in their direction wants to have sex with them, as if a male wanting to have sex with a female is a monumental discovery.
It is biology. You are a female and he is a heterosexual male. He wants to have sex not because you did anything extraordinary. Instead, biology is the driver of this vehicle.
It makes heterosexual males desire females. But as mentioned before, the glance does not always mean there is an attraction.
Perhaps you simply startled him
Perhaps you remind him of a friend, sibling, actress, etc.
Perhaps he liked your hairstyle
Perhaps he is looking at something in your direction, and this thing or person is completely unrelated to you
This message goes out to all of the females possessing this notion, where everyone who looks in their direction is completely engulfed with their existence.
Take a breath and relax. The air around this ego of yours must be as suffocating, as free diving to the bottom of the ocean.
But I digress.
If we are solely referring to the glance or stare that is rooted in his attraction, but you are not interested in the guy whatsoever, I would suggest that you simply ignore him.
He has a right to stare or glance, just as you have the right to ignore and feel uncomfortable. I know that may sound weird, but you honestly have no control in this arena.
I know that lunatics within the community of provocateurs want to police speech through their feelings, but the reality is that you cannot police someone who disagrees with your opinion (unless you live in a country that does), makes you feel uncomfortable, etc.
Try to image the success rate of an arrest, if you visit a police station and do the following …
Arrest my neighbor immediately because she called me fat this morning.
Arrest this man on the trolley. A few times during the trip he glanced at me.
Arrest this blogger right this instant because she disagrees with my opinion on promiscuity.
If you are a guy who constantly stares at people, I have to tell you it is self-defeating. Not only will she will consider it a turnoff, it may also freak her out. Glancing is quite fine, however, staring is another beast entirely.
Heck, I find it strange whenever guys stare at me …
Is he sizing me up?
Is he preparing to rob me?
Why the bloody heck is he staring?
With that said, I can understand why she finds a guy staring at her as a strange behavior. Honestly, it is bloody creepy to stare at people, thus the reason I recommend against staring.
I cannot make you stop, and she cannot make you stop either. However, common sense should tell you that staring at people is weird.
If you are glancing at her because you find her attractive, simply glancing will not create the outcome you desire. If you find her attractive, erase the idea that she is out of your league, you do not know what to say, etc. These are excuses.
Glancing is the first step. If your eyes meet hers, you can use this opportunity to explain why you glanced in her direction.
What is the worst that will happen? Will she turn you down? How is that any different from her not being in your life now?
Your legs are ready to move in her direction, but your insecurities are halting your brain from allowing them to make a step forward. Because this could be the woman of your dreams, I implore you to remove the excuses. Looking is the first step, therefore, the next step is to say something like hello.
Why does he glance or stare at you? Well, it depends. Sometimes the glance or stare means he is attracted. Other times, he is looking in your direction but not necessarily looking at you. In other words, the glance may not have anything to do with you.
Sometimes the stare means that he finds you attractive, but the insecurities are halting him from knowing what to do next. Other times, he stares at you because he is just weird.
Body language can play a role in determining if the stare is that of an attraction, or it can define if the action is simply a creepy act.
This is my perspective on the topic. I would love to read yours. How do you react when you encounter someone glancing or staring at you?