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Two months are almost behind us, since my opinion that A Good Man Is Not Hard To Find. After some reflection on the opinion piece, I hope the message was not misconstrued. I will admit, dirt bags can ruin the dating process for all men. Their mistakes somehow become our mistakes. Soon, you begin having tunnel vision, where you are unable to discern good men from the bad ones. However, I still believe that a good man is not hard to find, well, if a good man is what you truly desire.

If you do not see value in a long-term romantic relationship, and the list of conditions on what you desire from a man is unimportant, that is quite fine with me. If you are at a point in your life, where you simply desire living in the moment, by all means, this is your right. However, own up to this decision and stop blaming a lack of good men, for your state of single-hood.

Is a good man hard to find?

Honestly, it all depends on your definition of a good man, how you present yourself and the type of energy that you emit. If you want a good man, by this logic, you must be a good woman. If I make an adamant rule, where my wife must have a fit physique, I BETTER have a comparable physique to match this requirement. If I do not, yet make it an obligation for her…that is clearly hypocritical.

I will ask again, are you a good woman? It is fine and dandy to throw men under the bus, because they do not fit your standards of being a good man. However, you somehow believe he should overlook the skeletons in your closet.

You believe that he is unworthy of taking home to mom and dad, because he has too many children out-of-wedlock, does not earn $250K annually and has a history of infidelity. That is funny; last week you had sex with the entire Pittsburgh Steelers football team, and have no idea what career path to take. Yet, he should completely overlook these matters, and receive criticism for his baggage.

In your eyes, he falls short when it comes to your standards, and is not worthy of meeting your family. I see things differently. What makes you so special, that you are you worthy of meeting his mom and dad?

I am not a fan of casting stones upon the actions of others, when my actions are far more severe. It is one thing to have an opinion; it is another to pass judgment, when your skeletons will completely overwhelm theirs.

The fact of the matter is this, just as there are horrible male suitors, there are great men in plain sight.  You choose to overlook these men because of qualities you do not desire…not until it was too late that is.

The boys you classified as nerds in high school, you thought they were lame. You instead chose the guy everyone admired. The nerd went on to create Microsoft at the age of 20 and the other guy, well; he has multiple children throughout the country, and refuses to hold down a job. I am sure that nerd is looking rather handsome right about now.

Set reasonable expectations, communicate them and understand a person may not have everything you desire in a mate. I am not asking you to settle, and I do not believe anyone should settle for any relationship. Instead, try not to undermine people, simply because they do not fit a superficial standard, especially when you fail to meet them yourself.

A good man is not hard to find, if that is exactly what you are looking for.