“We cannot achieve more in life than what we believe in our heart of hearts we deserve to have.” — James R. Ball
I recently touched on why I believe women deserve better, and promised to follow-up with my take on why men deserve better. Well, let’s get right to it.
As a disclaimer, this post will only address people who deserve better, but due to insecurities and the inability of understanding the treatment an amazing woman provides, will accept the bare minimum.
I am fully aware that there are people who choose to remain in a relationship, not because of insecurities or because they are not able to differentiate between great treatment and one of mediocrity.
In fact, it all comes down to complacency. This post may not be for you. There are differences between a complacent individual, and someone fettered with insecurities.
Now, with this out of the way, we can proceed.
I am 100 percent sure, that you know this guy. In fact, you know this guy very well. Your understanding of this guy is so close to home, he may be your best friend, uncle or father. Heck, this guy may even be you.
When you look at your present situation, you have no idea who you are or what you are doing. You have no real sense of self, so your personality and ultimately your SELF-esteem, is a combination of all bad influences in your life
You deserve better.
You deserve better, not because this post says you do. You deserve better, because any woman who continues to highlight your insecurities, completely undermining the good you can or do bring to the table, should not define who you are.
As much as a person can alter the way they feel about their SELF-esteem, you have trouble doing so. She constantly reminds you of your failures, which reinforces your emasculation.
Self-esteem comes from within, but the direction it travels, whether negatively or positively, that originates from your childhood treatment.
If everyone in your family repeatedly references your worthlessness, you have a far greater chance to become an adult male, who believes he has no real value.
Their negative shouts of worthlessness will soon become the whispers, which you eventually hear from within.
Sometimes it becomes so overwhelming; you feel no other choice but to take your own life. Women experience this barrage of insults as well, but their suicide rates are lower.
Trust me; you are not alone. While women internalize their feelings, you will externalize your emotions. For instance, in the heat of the moment, you may strike repeatedly, walls with a clenched fist.
You believe the lies she tells you, because they remind you of your upbringing. She knows exactly what to say, in order to dig a hole so deep in your ego, it further weakens an already defeated man.
You hate the emotional or physical abuse, but you hate the way that she withholds sex even more. However, you choose to remain.
Any man who complains about abuse at the hands of a woman is a sissy. When a man is not receiving sex at home, the advice he receives is to seek it elsewhere.
You stay, because her lies cause you to believe, she is the only one who would ever want you.
Insecurity #1: You have a small penis
–> What you believe: What woman would ever want to have sex with a guy, packing less than eight or nine inches? Well, except for her of course.
Insecurity #2: You are broke
–> What you believe: What self-respecting woman would ever find a guy earning less than six-figures attractive? Well, except for her of course.
Insecurity #3: You are too short
–> What you believe: What woman actually finds men under six feet tall attractive? Well, except for her of course.
Insecurity #4: You are too fat
–> What you believe: What woman wants a guy who is void of a six-pack? Well, except for her of course.
These are a few examples, among a list of insecurities that a guy will encounter, in an abusive relationship. He does not think he deserves any better. Heck, he does not realize how amazing a great relationship can be for men.
Guys who do not think they deserve an amazing woman, will settle for the worst, all because this is the best they believe they could ever attract.
He remains in the relationship because she applies tactics, which she knows will destroy a man’s ego.
You reference that he has a small buddy, as we call the penis in my country, to bruise his ego. You will also bring up the size of his bank account. These two things among many others of course, can take his ego from 60-0, faster than a speeding bullet.
A woman does not need to have physical strength over a man, in order to maintain dominance. Psychological warfare is just as damaging, if not more harmful, than physical ones.
Physical wounds can heal in a short period. Psychological ones, well, they can remain a lifetime.
You deserve better.
You deserve better, because my wife rubs my back, simply because she knew I had a grueling back workout in the gym.
You deserve better, because she took on an interest with American football, simply because it is my favorite sport. You deserve better, because she treats me as a man, without ever feeling inferior in the process.
You deserve better, because I do not dread coming home. Coming home to her is the highlight of my day.
You deserve better, because sex is not a treat my wife shares, or holds over my head as a weapon. To all the women who hold sex over his head as a treat or punishment, please kick rocks. His buddy is as much a treat, as your kitty.
You deserve better, because regardless what goal I present, she supports and motivates me daily.
I know my value, because my mum and dad loved me the day they announced the pregnancy. Their love for me continues evolving each day. Sadly, there are countless boys throughout the world, who do not understand this kind of love.
I am not your brother, dad, best friend or mentor…I am a stranger. However, if you are reading this and you believe you are with a woman who continues tearing you down, versus building you up…please know that you deserve better.
You deserve better, not because this blog says you do. You deserve better, because any woman who refuses to bring out the King in you, and instead reinforces a weaker subject, is not the woman for you. I know this, because my wife uplifts the King within, every single day.