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Cheating, Couples, Culture, Dating, Gentleman, Infidelity, Men, OneGentlemansPerspective, Opinion, Personal, Reflection, Relationships, Sex, Thoughts
Cheating, infidelity, affair or fling—regardless what you call it, the reaction for those on the receiving end, will share one commonality. Becoming aware of your partner’s indiscretion is a painful situation to endure.
I did not go astray in any of my past relationships, and from my knowledge, my exes returned the favor. Though I did not personally experience cheating, I can understand from the outside looking in, the tragedy you must face.
We each have a way of knowing when a relationship is over. Something occurs inside that you use as a barometer, to determine the precise moment you should walk away. There is no right or wrong here; it is simply your form of measurement.
For me, the moment I know my feelings have subsided in the relationship, occurs when I can envision her having sex with another man, and I feel absolutely nothing. This may not be the case for others, but this is when I know the relationship is over.
As men, we have a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep psychological thing about us, where we subconsciously want to imagine our girlfriends or wives, has never been with another man. Some guys take this far more seriously than others do, whereas some consider the topic irrelevant.
Regardless which side of the fence you happen to be, the average guy has a deep connection with his partner physically.
However, that is not to say males only care about their partners physically. Interestingly enough, some males are able to have sex with other women, but the mere thought of his partner talking to another man becomes problematic.
Where am I going with this?
When a man thinks of sex and his partner, and this is generally speaking of course, the idea of anyone else in that vision is enough to send him into a rage. Are there men in relationships, able to accept their partner having sex with other men?
Strangely enough, quite a number of guys actually pay other men, to have sex with their wives or girlfriends. They get off seeing other men, experience body exploration sessions with their partners.
To answer the question, yes…some men think it is fully acceptable, for their partners to have sex with other men.
No judgment here, but that to me, is utterly insane. LoL.
These men are in the minority, and do not represent the norm. I will therefore speak on men in the majority.
Can you trust again, after experiencing her betrayal? This is a tricky one, but it is possible. However, there is a layer to this, which I think makes the possibility different for men, in comparison to women.
You see, men understand that in order to have sex with a woman; a man must overcome many emotional walls.
Before I proceed with the explanation, I have to elaborate on this concept of breaking down walls. By now, you guys know I have to speak the truth, and sometimes it stings.
There are no walls to overcome, when a woman considers herself sexually liberated, which we all know is code word for sexually easy.
They may not want to accept this reality as sexually liberated women, but if a guy is looking for a quick sexual fix, you are first on the list.
There is more challenge completing Call of Duty on the veteran level, than it is to have sex with this group of women.
The amount of energy it takes me to locate my favorite show on Netflix, is perhaps less energy than it takes for a guy to have sex with women, whom are sexually easy. This is not slut-shaming, misogyny, sexism, etc. It is simply the reality.
You say that you want sexual liberation—you got it. I am simply stating my opinion, through truth liberation.
When I reference breaking down walls, it does not apply to these types of women, the same way if the roles were reversed, it would not apply for men, who have sex with any person with a pulse.
With that said, in a male’s pursuit for sexual contact with women, we are aware that his advances will take effort. The average male is fully aware of this.
This man will have to gain some degree of trust, which means we imagine communication between a woman and the man in question.
We envision a comfort level between her and this other man, which means he is breaking down her emotional guard. We may not assess this on a conscious level, but subconsciously, these thoughts simply occur.
When you piece together these things, you begin to understand that the other man gained her physically, by first entering her emotionally. If you want to bruise a man’s ego, that is one way to destroy his entire sense of masculinity.
Reblogged this on I G Malgwi's Blog.
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Thank you for reading and sharing this perspective. It is always an honor when others decide to spread the perspective.
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I never thought some men would pay other men to do that. That’s totally insane!!! By the way, thanks for sharing such an interesting story with us! 🙂
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It is a subgroup, where they either participate or simply watch. It is a very strange dynamic to me, but it is obviously one that others enjoy. Thank you very much for reading this post. I will continue adding my perspective on this topic, because several of the emails I receive, and feedback on relationships, involve infidelity. Thanks once again.
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You’re welcome Alton. 🙂 If you hadn’t posted here, I would never come to know such a crazy thing in the world. I really appreciate the efforts you put on writing. Keep up the good work! 😉
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Lol. Over the years, I have encountered the strangest things that people do. Lol. I am not “judging,” but swinging is a huge underground scene. I cannot see how people sexually swop their partners for the night, with other people. For instance, the guys place their keys into a dish.
The women randomly select a key, and whichever key she retrieves, that is the guy she has sex with for the night. Lol. If your best friend somehow gets your partner’s key, well, your best friend is having sex with your partner. It is not my thing, but it works for them
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Good post. Not a lot of experience with this but your description seems to hit the nail on the head.
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Terribly sorry about missing this comment. Cheating is something many can relate, which is why I have noticed good dialogue on the subject. It teaches me a lot, because I am engaging with women currently facing infidelity, or those who have encountered infidelity in the past. Thanks for stopping by and reading the post. It’s always a pleasure.
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Your article is titled “Can You Trust Again after an Affair: Male Edition?” and you state one time “This is a tricky one, but it is possible” then you go on a diatribe of men who share their wives. You don’t address why you think it’s possible, but mention breaking down walls. What walls. If you want insight and straight talk Google “Kevin Jackson Survive Her Affair” you can get a lot of information from his website and probably more if you buy his book.
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There seems to be a rush of reactions from comments from cheaters today, and people interested in the infidelity topic. Interesting.
Did you actually read this post objectively? Did you actually read this post in its entirety (both pages), or did you cherry-pick elements that suit your perception? Attack? Which part was an attack? I am sharing my perspective, through the experiences of others on the topics I address, or simply my perspective. This explains the name “One Gentleman’s Perspective.”
You cherry-picked an example, which I pointed out why I used it. I will show you again the reason why it was used.
When a man thinks of sex and his partner, and this is generally speaking of course, the idea of anyone else in that vision is enough to send him into a rage. Are there men in relationships, able to accept their partner having sex with other men?
This passage is bringing up that males in general,
do not want to imagine another man with their partners. This relates to the concept of her cheating, thus the reason it was relevant. The idea is to show just how connected we are with our partners on a sexual level. The idea of another man in that image can send a guy into a sense of rage. I then asked the question, “Are there men in relationships, able to accept their partner having sex with other men?”
The following passage then addresses the question from above.
Strangely enough, quite a number of guys actually pay other men, to have sex with their wives or girlfriends. They get off seeing other men, experience body exploration sessions with their partners.
To answer the question, I then said yes…some men think it is fully acceptable, for their partners to have sex with other men. No judgment here, but that to me, is utterly insane. Lol
This concept is to say, yes, although males in general cannot imagine their partners with someone else sexually/emotionally, when they share a committed relationship, there are people who accept them going astray. There are also people paying others to engage in sexual acts with their partners. How exactly is this attacking someone, if I say that it is utterly insane to do this? It is my opinion. If I say pedophilia is disgusting, would you say it offensive to believe this?
With your question about walls, I then explained that “You see, men understand that in order to have sex with a woman; a man must overcome many walls. Before I proceed with the explanation, I have to elaborate on this concept of breaking down walls. By now, you guys know I have to speak the truth, and sometimes it stings.”
I then explained that with females who believe in having sex easily, the usual walls a guy must break down are not present. There are no challenges to overcome with Easy girls, because sex comes easily. However, with other women, men in general understand that it takes a degree of trust and emotions for sex to occur. With that said, when your wife/girlfriend cheats, we understand that there is an emotional connection, which is present with the other guy and of course trust.
This man will have to gain some degree of trust, which means we imagine communication between a woman and the man in question. We envision a comfort level between her and this other man, which means he is breaking down her emotional guard.
I will ask again, Did you actually read this post objectively? Did you actually read this post in its entirety (both pages), or did you cherry-pick elements that suit your perception?
Trusting again after someone betrays your trust is of course difficult, however, it is possible. If you read the entire post, you would gather the answer through my perspective.
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I think that lifetime monogamy is a fairly recent development in humans, and came about around the same time as a more formal agricultural/domestication process; I look to chimps and bonobos to get insight into what our natural state of partnership is. There are a lot of rules we’ve concocted as a species to fit a mold that, in my opinion, is unnatural and just doesn’t work…
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Great perspective, and one I can definitely understand. I have read different studies that point to monogamy being unnatural for humans. It is an interesting subject. I also see why others are able to maintain a monogamous relationship.
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