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Cheating, Couples, Culture, Dating, Infidelity, Marriage, OneGentlemansPespective, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Sex, Society, Thoughts, Women
When I created the post involving my perspective on cheating, I had no idea how people would receive the information. While writing the piece, there was no preparation. The words simply developed with each tap, in my Galaxy Note document section. In other words, I initially had one idea during the introduction in part one, but by the time the second sentence appeared, it took on a life of its own.
The Lord works in mysterious ways; some may not believe in his existence, and that is your right. However, we do in this household, which means I also believe we are vessels of sorts. Through us, He speaks in order for a message to help someone. We may have no connection to this person whatsoever, but the delivery occurs at the very moment this person is in need.
Nonetheless, the first post was so popular I received over 3,000 shares. I have no idea why people enjoyed the post, but specific search terms are sending individuals to the website, to the tune of nearly 350 views per hour.
After discussing the influx of traffic with my wife, she mentioned that cheating is something able to affect anyone and everyone. Your perspective on the topic was perhaps one they did not hear before, which allows it to resonate, especially if they experienced infidelity in their relationships.
“Sometimes the wind blows us in directions we do not understand, but I am going to see where it leads.” — One Gentleman
To begin the first post, I am going to break this topic into a series. When the trust in a relationship is broken, the manner in which women react, will not be the same as how men respond to infidelity. Are there instances where the emotions are similar? Without question, I would say yes.
However, and I am speaking generally here, from observation, we respond differently. I also believe the topic of whether you can ever trust again, is completely different from if you should give your partner a second chance.
As a disclaimer, this topic involves my opinion and is not indicative of all women. I am merely using past experiences with people who have faced infidelity, and applying my opinion through One Gentleman’s Perspective.
In other words, this is not a scientific research, where I conducted a sample survey within a population. It sounds as if I am exaggerating, but after viewing the reactions of people on social media, this disclaimer is becoming more necessary than ever. Lol.
I am no saint. I have done things in my life with women that I regret, but one thing I can say is that cheating did not occur. This is not a jab at any man who has, because once again, I have many regrets in my life.
I mention this to show my views on infidelity may appear biased, because it is a position none of my relationships ever ventured. However, I know of countless men and women, where they either have cheated, or experienced a partner’s betrayal. It is a horrible pain.
The moment you discover the betrayal, your body goes numb. It seems as if the room is spinning, because your stomach is now in knots. You no longer have proper balance, because for some reason, your knees are starting to lose function.
You collapse under the weight of everything…the past, present and the future you once imagined. You try to gather your thoughts while resting on the floor. You inhale, you exhale, you inhale, you exhale and suddenly, your entire relationship flashes before your eyes.
You can hear your partner calling your name in the distance, but you are too busy analyzing images of the past, which you are trying to piece together. However, you cannot.
You inhale, you exhale, you inhale, and you exhale.
Everything you thought, everything you imagined—it seems like a fabrication. You cannot believe what you are hearing, so part of you begins to think it is a dream, but the pain in your chest and stomach is telling you this is very real.
This is what it feels like, when your partner discovers your infidelity. It is a tragic position to place someone. Can you ever trust them again? After experiencing a pain that seems like a heart attack, can you ever see yourself trusting him again? It depends, but to summarize, it is possible.
Reblogged this on "Dear Black Chula" … Advice on just about everything! and commented:
I appreciate your honesty
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Thanks again. Honesty is the best medicine for a head filled with lies. These lies allow you to enter a reality that does not exist. LoL. Hopefully my honesty will help someone
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First of all, I do believe in God, so I am speaking from my Christian perspective.
I believe the reason you are receiving so many views is because this is an age-old problem that is still relevant today and is not about to change. The Bible has many accounts of infidelity, including the “man after God’s own heart” King David. The 10 Commandments included adultery, proving that affairs are as old as mankind.
It causes heart-ache and just as you described so accurately, is a terrible thing for anyone to go through.
Can we forgive? Yes, as a Christian we are supposed to forgive if we want to be forgiven. Can we trust again? That is an individual matter. It will depend.
Just as you have written …
“It depends, but to summarize, it is possible.”
I’ll be following the series, as always, your articles are well-written and thought-provoking.
❤ carmen
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I notice far too often attacks on those who believe in God, especially from those against the idea of His existence. If you choose not to believe in God, that is your right. However, it is also the right of believers to believe. But that is for another day. LoL
You are correct. This question is one of those issues in life, which will remain today and for the rest of the time. Even if we are not directly related to infidelity, we may know of someone whose life has been influenced by the betrayal. That portion involving King David is an interesting one, because as imperfect as David was, his heart was still very much connected to God.
On a natural level, being with another person’s partner should trigger a sense of wrong in one’s mind. I cannot enter my friend’s home and take his television without his knowledge, and not feel some sort of way. The funny thing is how people get up in arms, when someone betrays their trust on simple things, but can see no wrong with infidelity. LoL. This is what I call selective outrage.Thank you for always sharing your insight. I honestly learn more, when others convey their take on things.
I am looking forward to sharing more of my perspective on this topic
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This is a ticklish subject because there is no exact answer for every relationship. All relationships are unique. I know some relationships where one partner was fully aware of the other’s indiscretions but chose to stay. I do not get the reasoning behind the decision but it is what worked for them. Cheating means there is a breach in an area of the relationship. I look forward to reading more from you. I love your take on the topic.
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You are 100 percent correct. Whether one can, or chooses to trust again is not a universal decision. One couple may have no ties and choose to separate, whereas a couple has three young children today, and feel they can work through the betrayal.
Whatever each couple decides will take on a larger decision of debate, than those on the outside looking in. We only see the betrayal, but they see the history, present and future. I will also admit though, I do react a certain way when I see women or men, remaining with people who happen to be serial cheaters. That is strange to me.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and share your perspective. I rather enjoy adding my spin on different topics, because I am sure each topic I present is discussed by countless.
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