You see, women view cheating differently from men. There are tiers for some women when it comes to cheating, which they take into consideration more than males. Emotional affairs for some women hurts more than physical ones.
There are some women with the ability to overlook physical affairs, but are incapable of second chances when it comes to emotional ones.
Although she is willing to forgive and remain in the relationship, if the affair is of a physical nature, there are restrictions to her sense of tolerance. If the other woman becomes pregnant…welcome to World War III, because in the words of Notorious B.I.G, Somebody’s Gotta Die. Lol. Not only will she not forgive him, or ever trust him again, but she will also end the relationship.
Can you rebuild trust after your partner’s affair(s)? It depends, but to summarize, it is possible.
The most significant thing you must determine is whether the relationship is worth saving. Not every person you are with is worth any extra effort. You know it and I know it. There are some relationships you know are worth fighting for, but with others, you do not have the patience.
Determine if this one fits the bill of saving. Nothing else in my opinion is far more important than this realization. If the relationship is worth salvaging, you are in for one rough ride. If the relationship is not worth saving, the pain will still hurt, but you can depart and refresh.
How do you determine if the relationship is worth salvaging?
1Do you have children together? This is the biggest factor for many couples. A woman remains after an infidelity, because the children are not of age yet, and they prefer to weather the storm for the sake of the family. The age of the children, also plays a factor in whether she will remain in the relationship, or choose to walk away. This also applies with men.
2You believe counseling will help rebuild the relationship, because you are madly in love with him still. Trying to handle an affair on your own is tough, because the basis of your actions will come from a position of immense pain. You have a difficult time removing your emotions from the trauma, which is completely normal. However, I believe a professional and disinterested third party can be helpful.
3Financially, you earn less income than he does, or you do not work at all. This factor will cause a number of women to remain in the relationship, because walking away does not appear feasible, due to the financial obligations. I have seen this in several occasions, but it seems to affect married couples far more than unmarried ones.
These three reasons will usually influence your decision, when it involves the worthiness of salvaging the relationship. If your only reason is the fear of starting over or wanting to maintain an image to your friends/family, you need to reassess your relationship far beyond his infidelity.
These two things should not motivate you to remain in a relationship. They can motivate you to remain, but in all honesty, they are poor decisions to remain with someone, especially after an affair.
Can you trust your partner after an affair? It is definitely possible, but trust takes time. You did not ship your trust to him overnight through FedEx; the process of sharing your trust took time. Sadly, he was able to break something that took a long time to create, through one selfish action.
You must understand the significance of the trust you give to someone. Trust is the most difficult thing to build with someone, and yet, it is the easiest thing to destroy. You can trust again, but you must first determine if you are capable of traveling down this long road.
You will have to deal with him receiving phone calls at night, and wondering who is on the other end. You will have to deal with him leaving for work, and wondering if he is really heading to his place of business.
You will have to deal with him hanging out with friends, and wondering if this friend is really the other woman. This is not easy, so If you are prepared to save a relationship you believe is worth a second chance, rebuilding your trust is possible.
Now, will it ever be the same again? That is an entirely different story. Will you be able to love him again? That is an entirely different story.
You have a rough road ahead, but only YOU should determine if the relationship is worth a second chance…not your sister, mother or best friend who is single, and most definitely not him.
As a gentleman, I believe in providing others second chances in life. It is possible to trust again, but only if the relationship is worth saving.