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Young Black men undergo appalling acts throughout the day, proving that racism is everywhere, and occurring at all times. Racism occurs all day, every day and from everyone, against those within the Black population.
You cannot understand if you are not Black. In fact, I will go as far and say young Black men experience racism at rates throughout the day, which exceeds all other groups on the planet.
At times, when I express this level of innate and apparent racism from others, my wife fails to understand. It is clear that she cannot understand. For one, she is a female. Females cannot have any say on things that negatively influence males.
Secondly, she is not Black and unless you are Black, you cannot have any opinion whatsoever on racism.
I cringe whenever I hear someone addressing the topic of racism, and the person in question is not Black. The bloody nerve of non-Black people talking about racism—it grinds my gears.
Racism is a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities, and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race against another race.
If you look at the definition, it clearly states that racism primarily affects Black people. Yet, my wife still does not understand why racism is such an important topic for this group.
I decided to document all instances of racism throughout my day, in order to prove to her the extent of what Black people encounter on a daily basis, primarily young Black males.
They usually say the way you dress as a young Black man, creates the negative stereotypes that others impose. I can understand that, so this does not relate to me. As long as I do not dress like a hoodlum, people will not negatively stereotype. Right?
I will prove that your attire is unimportant, by making sure I conduct the research as I am heading out to see my clients.
In other words, the idea is that a tailored suit should diminish the negative stereotypes, which one usually creates from hoodlum attire. I will pair it with my most complimented shoes, socks, pocket square, etc.
If you are upset by the information presented already, you are most certainly a racist. From this understanding, you are going to be immensely upset by the time you conclude this post.
Nonetheless, I want to thank you for taking the time to see how horrible racism can be, for young Black males such as me.
The idea is that with each moment of racism, I will do a timestamp in my phone and write down what transpired. After concluding my meetings, I will then submit the information to my wife.
I left the house with my briefcase in hand at 08:15a.m., and walked to the subway. Three minutes after exiting my home, the first incident took place.
08:18a.m.: A Caucasian female walking to the school bus with her children, smiled as I walked by. Her son pointed at my side and said, he has a nice bag mommy.
You cannot walk the street as a young Black man, without someone pointing at you like a caged monkey in the zoo. I hate racist people—young, old, it does not matter. I did not acquire a tailored suit, for you to stare at me.
If I were Caucasian, would she have smiled at me? No! If I were Asian, would her son feel the need to compliment my briefcase? I think not. Each second in their presence, I felt incredibly stereotyped.
After rushing by to get away from their judgmental and stereotypical eyes, I made it to the train. I took my seat and opened my briefcase to review my notes. As soon as I closed my briefcase, I had this feeling that someone was watching me.
08:29a.m.: Staring from across my seat was a Caucasian couple. The woman looked, smiled and said to her partner, I would love to see you in a suit like that for Tommy’s wedding. Ask him where he got it.
To an untrained eye, you would imagine she was simply complimenting the suit, but she was really wondering if I stole it. You know, all Black people are thieves. It does not matter what she said, I know what she was thinking.
Not all Black people steal, but to these racists, I am a thief. I wonder if they think I just stole this briefcase from someone, and was simply rummaging through their documents.
I grabbed my things and walked into the other train cart. My ancestors did not protest and die, all for me to remain seated across from someone to hurt my feelings openly.
08:34a.m.: As soon as I walked through the train doors, a Filipino guy said, nice suit bro.
Nice suit bro? What does he mean bro? I am not his brother. Do all Black people speak with slang? Why not say nice suit dude, or that is a really nice suit?
I understand he may listen to a lot of Hip-Hop and assume we all speak like rappers, but it is racist to think we all speak this way. I have not left the house for an hour, and already there were three moments of racism.
I decided to walk by and just find my seat. I sat down, put on my headphones and closed my eyes. I am used to this treatment, but I am just not in the mood for it today.
I want to remain focused for my meetings, and this was affecting my train of thought. Thirty minutes later, I arrived to my stop.
I exited the train and left my protein powder at home, so I decided to walk to The Vitamin Shoppe to purchase a container of protein powder and shake mixture cup, to leave in my office. As I entered the store and could not locate my favorite brand, one of the employees approached me.
09:13a.m.: Is there something I can help you locate?
Here we go again. Every…single…time, someone Black enters a store; an employee has to follow them throughout the store. Can a young Black man not shop in peace, without someone always thinking we are going to steal something?
I simply looked at him, and walked to the other side of the store. I finally found my favorite brand and went to register.
LOL, that was well done. Words have power, the words we speak over ourselves start to define us. If one feels like a victim, we will actually seek out evidence to validate that perception of ourselves. Often we will misinterpret and exaggerate the data until it starts to meet our world view. What we believe about ourselves becomes our reality.
Many of the people involved in social justice do no one any favors. It’s a bit ironic, but they are the ones who never let you forget your place, which better be a place of victimization and oppression, because if you don’t stay put where you belong, they haven’t got a social justice cause to fight for. So actually lifting people up becomes a conflict of interest.
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While we were having dinner, we were discussing “seeing what you want to see,” and then it hit me. We were bouncing around ideas for like 10 minutes, and I started to write. She loved the idea. She wanted me to make it entirely humorous, but I thought it would be too obvious. I wanted people to read and have an emotional reaction until the end. Lol.
“If one feels like a victim, we will actually seek out evidence to validate that perception of ourselves.”
You have it correctly. If I want to think everyone dislikes me, I will find all examples in the world to prove this paranoid theory.
“Often we will misinterpret and exaggerate the data until it starts to meet our world view. What we believe about ourselves becomes our reality.”
You are right again.
You always grasp where I’m coming from. Victimhood is a neighborhood they wish to be heavily populated with residents, because if people start moving elsewhere, these so-called causes will be made out for the nonsense they are.
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Reblogged this on trying to make things right and commented:
Great post
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Thank you for reading this long post. I’m grateful you took the time to then reblog. Thank you.
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You’re welcome, it was a good post. A similar version about feminism would be great.
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Yes…I do it…that is why I asked you to delete my comments.
While I was reading this post…I thought, this has got to be a joke, because this is not objective at all.
But anyways…I was also thinking, I must be a young black man! This stuff happens to me allllll the time. I was just in the Vitamin Shoppe the other day and the same thing happened to me!!!
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Lol. I wrote this post, after bouncing around ideas with my wife over dinner. She loved it, but wanted me to use humor and let people know it was a satire from the beginning. I thought that would be a disservice to the concept, which is why I left the “reveal” at the end.
Words are important and critical thinking is important. People often misinterpret this, and believe I say feelings are not important. On the contrary, they are. Heck, I’m a romantic guy. I understand the importance of feelings. However, discussions of a serious nature, should occur with critical thinking. When your feelings drive the discussion–chaos ensues. Lol. I see it far too often.
Everything I wrote in the post (the encounters) were all made up. Do they happen to me, in similar instances they do. But not the exact scenarios used here. In other words, this was never about me explaining my experiences with racism. It was purely satire, to show how someone’s paranoia can become their reality, through exaggeration.
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Reblogged this on Nette.
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Thank you again for your time. I truly appreciate the time others give, especially when it involves such a long post. Thank you for reblogging as well.
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I read this post early in my day and thought about it off and on as the hours have passed. It seems so appropriate and timely with election day tomorrow and the daily dose of mudslinging on our TV screens, across our computer screens, and in our mailboxes the past several months. Civil discourse seems like a lost or forgotten skill, abandoned in eagerness to express opinions as facts in whatever fashion is most expedient. Rarely is the politician who is speaking calmly and objectively in the headlines, unless he/she made some critical gaffe worth highlighting.
While I am not naive enough to say racism no longer happens, I tend to believe true acts of racism are not as common as we are lead to believe by all forms of modern media. If you want or expect to find examples of racism, you will find examples of racism. It’s a serious subject, a serious charge, and to have it bandied about and pulled out and played like a nuclear weapon to win an argument or come out on top of the news cycle should be considered criminal. Somehow in our culture it has become acceptable to use incendiary words and phrases in the most casual, off-the-cuff manner as if there are no real consequences. As a parent, I stressed manners when my kids were young. As they grew up and matured, word choice became part of the lesson on good manners. We try to lead by example. Yes, in our household we swear and use profanity (the shame!). But swearing in frustration, or when joking around or swapping stories as a family is an acceptable, affectionate way of communicating, not something I recommend for everyone either. I know my husband and I do not talk that way to anyone we do not know very well and both my kids are careful and respectful about language in life as well. But my husband and I were both raised by parents who were very poor communicators (but in different ways) and I have been victimized by a Very Bad Man who taught me the art of euphemism to protect his guilty self. I grew up determined to be clear and direct about my thoughts and ideas, and I still use a dictionary (online now) to ensure my choice of certain specific words is correct for the application I intend.
Another really good, thought-provoking post.
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Thank you much for reading this piece and sharing your response. I had one goal in mind when this idea came to me, while we were having dinner. I wanted to create an example of paranoia, through exaggeration. Often I hear one group say, “Unless you are part of this group, you could never understand what (Blank) is like. I see it often, so I decided to apply this logic in the satirical piece.
People use words to undermine one’s opinion, because they are not (Blank) and therefore, they cannot say anything on the subject at hand. I can understand where they are coming from, but it lacks sound reasoning. I am not a parent yet, but I could comprehend the pain a parent would endure at the loss of a child. I am not in their shoes exactly, but I can comprehend the huge burden.
I detest the mudslinging of politics. It is such a dirty business. It is not about merits, but really skeletons in your closet.
“Civil discourse seems like a lost or forgotten skill, abandoned in eagerness to express opinions as facts in whatever fashion is most expedient.”
That was incredibly beautiful. It made me smile. Lol. Thank you for that. It was perfectly stated. It’s as if you went into my mind, and put together the thoughts I had, better than I ever could. Lol.
Racism, sexism, etc…these things are real. Sadly, when everything a man does is sexist, when everything he does is misogynistic, when everything someone non-Black says is a racist comment, etc…the words begin to lose their significance.
“Somehow in our culture it has become acceptable to use incendiary words and phrases in the most casual, off-the-cuff manner as if there are no real consequences.”
You are a breath of fresh air. Lol. I genuinely mean that. My wife knows I detest the culture where a person cannot express the truth, because someone’s feelings will be hurt. I am not referring to “off-the-wall insults. Of course not.
I am referring to things like your quote above. Saying that would get an anchor fired. It is such a shame. We are undermining what free speech means, yet, countries like to throw stones at China because of their objection to free speech.
“and I still use a dictionary (online now) to ensure my choice of certain specific words is correct for the application I intend.”
HaHa. My wife says I am a maniac, because I am always checking the dictionary and Google for the meaning of words, origin, etc. Lol. Thank you once again for such a great response.
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I think of blogging as ongoing conversation. Your posts are so well written, layered, and thoughtful I try to digest them fully before commenting. I love that.
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That’s the beauty about communication. I think I should begin viewing blogging that way also. Interesting. Thank you.
As for my posts, to receive such a comment from you is humbling. I strive to write things that make people dig deep, and form a reaction. I am learning how to better communicate my thoughts, so your comment is a blessing. Thank you.
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Warning, super long.
To be honest, I thought you meant every word. It wasn’t until the comments that I figured out it wasn’t true. Granted, this is the first post I have read from you. I didn’t even both going to the about page. I have read it since, but I didn’t before. Think it’s better to be informed than ignorant. Anyways…
Half way through I thought about leaving because, if I finished, I would leave a comment that would piss you off. Now, that I’ve read up. I’m leaving a comment.
First, racism is a hard subject, hot, for anybody to talk about and arguments don’t break out. And I rarely talk about or comment.
Second, I do believe it can happen, but most, if not the majority, is because of how the person took whatever was said.
Third, as long as the person keeps that victim mentality, then they will never see it differently. Even in your post, I keep thinking can this man not take a stupid compliment. Good grief, grow up and figure out that’s stupid. They were being nice. That’s probably harsh, but dang that took it far.
It reminded me of reading a story online. This girl was dead, another in a coma, and third badly injured. The mother kept ranting about how the cops killed her daughter because she was black. In reality, the cops where pulling them over. The mom’s daughter decided that she didn’t want to do that and sped off. The cop didn’t even give chase. The girl wrecked the car around the next corner. It was horrible. I felt for the families, but this women was making me mad. It was her daughter’s own fault for it happening and to call race into it was wrong on so many levels.
I know that I am not black, nor will I ever, feel what some go through, but I didn’t care for when you said ‘you can’t have an opinion.’ I understand part of it but I do have a right to have an opinion when most things that the government decides is based on race. They are the worst at building the victim mentality.
It also reminds me of this woman I knew in the Army. She came to work at our unit and we loved it, because none of us wanted to do the job that she had. So, I became friends with her. At the beginning, I was the only women, by the time she came there were two more added, which was unusual for EOD units. Anyways, I thought I became her friend and would help her out because she was not an EOD tech and that’s difficult in a unit like EOD. We’re all a little crazy so she wasn’t.
Again, anyways, one day she was having a problem and I offered helped. She looked me directly in the eye and said ‘why do you want to help me?’ I said ‘because you are my friend.’ She laughed and said ‘you’re a white girl, you can’t be my friend.’
I walked away and never looked back. I wasn’t racist. She was and I have sometimes felt that it comes from those that are screaming racism. Of course, my vision has been colored by her and I don’t hold it against anybody else, but it has changed how I looked at it.
When my sister married, he’d done some stuff before they got married. So, I did care for him as a person. When she decided to get married, I take his side 99% of the time because I know my sister. I also started a change in him. I would always go to him and give him a hug when we met up. Now, he seeks me out if I’m hidden (I’m only 5’2 and his 6 something) behind people to give me a hug. The color of skin does not matter in my family. We love him as much as we love my sister. It”s really cool.
Now, they are having a baby. I’m excited to see what she looks like and to hang out with her. To my way of thinking, she’s going to beautiful will chocolate skin, soft hair, and that wonderful babiness. Of course, I have no clue what she’ll look like, but my brother has black, black skin and the genes in our family run so strong, all of us look alike. So, I can’t wait to meet her.
All that to say, I about freaked out. It definitely gives a different perspective. Great job!
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