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09:15a.m.: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Wow! Twice in one store, my wife would not believe this before today, but she will now. I could never understand this question.
Did you find everything you were looking for? No, of course I did not find everything. I just walked to the register, just so that I can go back and search for more items to put into my bag.
I am getting sick of the stereotype that Black people love to steal. Are employees this helpful to non-Black customers?
I stared at him blankly, paid, and exited the store shaking my head. I walked into one of my office locations, put down my things and had my first client meeting.
The clients were an older Caucasian couple, preparing for their retirement.
They were interested in shifting some of their retirement savings, in order to create a lifetime stream of income—in other words, their own pension. I welcomed them into the office and that is where the barrage of comments started.
10:25a.m.: Wow, you are even much younger than I thought son, the husband said. Did you ever imagine this would be your profession? In fact, which college did you attend? I know this is about you helping us, but I would love to know more about you, he said. His wife then made eye contact with me and smiled.
This happens everywhere I go. Caucasian women specifically, have this Black Mandingo Warrior fantasy, which originated during slavery. They all want to understand what it feels like, to have sex with a Black man. The way she smiled at me was utterly terrifying.
I felt objectified in ways my wife could not relate to or understand. Her husband had no idea his wife was visually raping me, but I see this everywhere.
I cannot walk the street without a Caucasian female raping me with her eyes. I am sick of it. As for the husband’s comments of apparent racism—sigh. Son? What does he mean by son? I am not his child. How dare he speak to me in such an insulting way?
He knows my name, why is he associating me with such terms as son. Why is he asking about my career aspirations as a child? Does he think all Black children aspire to be rappers, and professional athletes? I did envision this as my profession, but it was none of his business.
This meeting is not about my history. I am not here to explain why some Black youths, reject different careers outside of music and sports. Here goes the college question again. Is everyone shocked when Black people refuse to dropout of elementary school, but instead go on to college?
I find each racist individual, more annoying than the last. I am sure she does not look at her Caucasian Pilates instructor this way, and I know he refuses to ask his Caucasian dentist these questions.
I looked at them, and the horrors of my ancestor’s past came rushing in. I froze, because I did not understand what to say.
I felt trapped, humiliated, objectified, belittled, and just wanted the meeting to end. After the meeting finally concluded, I asked my assistant to reschedule all of my meetings for another day. I just could not take it any longer. I needed some fresh air, so I had to step out for a bit.
12:15p.m.: A Middle Eastern woman, walking towards my direction clutched her shoulder bag to the side, as the shoulder strap suddenly came loose.
To the untrained eye, she is simply supporting the bag because the straps came loose. However, when you understand racism as a young Black man, you know the infamous clutch of the purse/bag, is simply a defense mechanism while in our presence.
They believe this is the only way to protect their bags, from us stealing them. If I were not Black, would she still clutch her bag for support?
I simply shook my head in dismay.
12:18p.m.: A Caucasian officer stops me, and inquires if I am familiar with the area. Today is my first day on duty in this area, so I have no idea what is good to eat around here. I am really looking for a place where they serve anything, but chicken preferably.
Hmm…you see a Black guy and of course, he has to know a great chicken eatery. Racist cops are the worst. I hate this stereotype. Yeah, I love chicken, but it is not because I am Black. Every single person assumes Black people love fried chicken, watermelons and cornbread.
Heck, even my mother-in-law visits different restaurant locations, and surprises me with their different preparations on roasted chicken. It sickens me.
Would the cop ask someone who is not Black, a question about chicken restaurants? If I were non-Black, would my mother-in-law buy chicken for me?
I decided to ignore him. I step aside away and enter the bank to retrieve some cash, and encounter a Middle Eastern bank attendant.
12:26p.m.: How may we help you?
Are you bloody serious? I am not here to rob the bank. I just want to use the ATM. My gosh, this is insane. Do non-Black customers receive this racist interrogation? I am sure they do not.
After only a few hours, I encountered at least ten instances of racism. I decided this was enough evidence to prove to my wife, that Black men experience racism every day, all the time and from everyone.
I created this post with one goal in mind—satire. To be clear, this entire post is satire. I used examples I see often with people, when it involves topics they are discussing.
For instance, they will say unless you are a female, you cannot comprehend what it is like being harassed. If you are not Black, you cannot understand what stereotype feels like. I applied their logic, all throughout this post.
Satire is the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
I do not believe racism occurs at all times and from everyone, against Black people. Why not? Well, when the topic involves a serious discussion, I like to assess things critically—not with my feelings.
I wanted to point out the importance of word usage, and understanding definitions by using exaggeration. I chose to use the most ridiculous instances of behavior, which someone with a paranoid train of thought, would then evolve into much more.
Does racism occur? I am not blind to the reality of the issue, because racism does occur. However, should I consider all acts from people as racism? To a paranoid individual, yes, everything and anything is an act of racism.
If I want to find something, my mind will allow me to discover it. I cannot stress enough the importance of words.
Within this post, you will find what I consider silly examples, of what someone will classify as racism. However, when you pick apart the meaning of racism, you cannot use critical thinking to define the acts within this post as racism. However, if you apply your feelings, you most certainly can.
When we place examples such as the ones within this post, under the classification of racism, people will have a difficult time separating the nonsense from real acts of racism. When someone blends drivel with real issues, it minimizes those instances where a real issue is taking place.
The shooting of a young man is not automatically an act of racism, because the shooter is Caucasian, whereas the young man is Black.
Can it be an act of racism? Of course, it can be an act of racism. It is possible. However, jumping the gun is irrational. You are simply using your feelings to justify an answer.
My point is simple—be careful with your choice of words. They have a meaning for a reason. Your feelings are important, but critical thinking holds more value during a discussion, which requires critical thinking. Thank you for taking the time to read this extremely long post.
However, this is my opinion. I want to know what you think. Are words important, or should definitions simply change to suit one’s feelings? Do you notice people blurring the lines, and blending non-issues with real issues?
One Gentleman's Perspective 
LOL, that was well done. Words have power, the words we speak over ourselves start to define us. If one feels like a victim, we will actually seek out evidence to validate that perception of ourselves. Often we will misinterpret and exaggerate the data until it starts to meet our world view. What we believe about ourselves becomes our reality.
Many of the people involved in social justice do no one any favors. It’s a bit ironic, but they are the ones who never let you forget your place, which better be a place of victimization and oppression, because if you don’t stay put where you belong, they haven’t got a social justice cause to fight for. So actually lifting people up becomes a conflict of interest.
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While we were having dinner, we were discussing “seeing what you want to see,” and then it hit me. We were bouncing around ideas for like 10 minutes, and I started to write. She loved the idea. She wanted me to make it entirely humorous, but I thought it would be too obvious. I wanted people to read and have an emotional reaction until the end. Lol.
“If one feels like a victim, we will actually seek out evidence to validate that perception of ourselves.”
You have it correctly. If I want to think everyone dislikes me, I will find all examples in the world to prove this paranoid theory.
“Often we will misinterpret and exaggerate the data until it starts to meet our world view. What we believe about ourselves becomes our reality.”
You are right again.
You always grasp where I’m coming from. Victimhood is a neighborhood they wish to be heavily populated with residents, because if people start moving elsewhere, these so-called causes will be made out for the nonsense they are.
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Reblogged this on trying to make things right and commented:
Great post
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Thank you for reading this long post. I’m grateful you took the time to then reblog. Thank you.
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You’re welcome, it was a good post. A similar version about feminism would be great.
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Yes…I do it…that is why I asked you to delete my comments.
While I was reading this post…I thought, this has got to be a joke, because this is not objective at all.
But anyways…I was also thinking, I must be a young black man! This stuff happens to me allllll the time. I was just in the Vitamin Shoppe the other day and the same thing happened to me!!!
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Lol. I wrote this post, after bouncing around ideas with my wife over dinner. She loved it, but wanted me to use humor and let people know it was a satire from the beginning. I thought that would be a disservice to the concept, which is why I left the “reveal” at the end.
Words are important and critical thinking is important. People often misinterpret this, and believe I say feelings are not important. On the contrary, they are. Heck, I’m a romantic guy. I understand the importance of feelings. However, discussions of a serious nature, should occur with critical thinking. When your feelings drive the discussion–chaos ensues. Lol. I see it far too often.
Everything I wrote in the post (the encounters) were all made up. Do they happen to me, in similar instances they do. But not the exact scenarios used here. In other words, this was never about me explaining my experiences with racism. It was purely satire, to show how someone’s paranoia can become their reality, through exaggeration.
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Reblogged this on Nette.
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Thank you again for your time. I truly appreciate the time others give, especially when it involves such a long post. Thank you for reblogging as well.
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I read this post early in my day and thought about it off and on as the hours have passed. It seems so appropriate and timely with election day tomorrow and the daily dose of mudslinging on our TV screens, across our computer screens, and in our mailboxes the past several months. Civil discourse seems like a lost or forgotten skill, abandoned in eagerness to express opinions as facts in whatever fashion is most expedient. Rarely is the politician who is speaking calmly and objectively in the headlines, unless he/she made some critical gaffe worth highlighting.
While I am not naive enough to say racism no longer happens, I tend to believe true acts of racism are not as common as we are lead to believe by all forms of modern media. If you want or expect to find examples of racism, you will find examples of racism. It’s a serious subject, a serious charge, and to have it bandied about and pulled out and played like a nuclear weapon to win an argument or come out on top of the news cycle should be considered criminal. Somehow in our culture it has become acceptable to use incendiary words and phrases in the most casual, off-the-cuff manner as if there are no real consequences. As a parent, I stressed manners when my kids were young. As they grew up and matured, word choice became part of the lesson on good manners. We try to lead by example. Yes, in our household we swear and use profanity (the shame!). But swearing in frustration, or when joking around or swapping stories as a family is an acceptable, affectionate way of communicating, not something I recommend for everyone either. I know my husband and I do not talk that way to anyone we do not know very well and both my kids are careful and respectful about language in life as well. But my husband and I were both raised by parents who were very poor communicators (but in different ways) and I have been victimized by a Very Bad Man who taught me the art of euphemism to protect his guilty self. I grew up determined to be clear and direct about my thoughts and ideas, and I still use a dictionary (online now) to ensure my choice of certain specific words is correct for the application I intend.
Another really good, thought-provoking post.
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Thank you much for reading this piece and sharing your response. I had one goal in mind when this idea came to me, while we were having dinner. I wanted to create an example of paranoia, through exaggeration. Often I hear one group say, “Unless you are part of this group, you could never understand what (Blank) is like. I see it often, so I decided to apply this logic in the satirical piece.
People use words to undermine one’s opinion, because they are not (Blank) and therefore, they cannot say anything on the subject at hand. I can understand where they are coming from, but it lacks sound reasoning. I am not a parent yet, but I could comprehend the pain a parent would endure at the loss of a child. I am not in their shoes exactly, but I can comprehend the huge burden.
I detest the mudslinging of politics. It is such a dirty business. It is not about merits, but really skeletons in your closet.
“Civil discourse seems like a lost or forgotten skill, abandoned in eagerness to express opinions as facts in whatever fashion is most expedient.”
That was incredibly beautiful. It made me smile. Lol. Thank you for that. It was perfectly stated. It’s as if you went into my mind, and put together the thoughts I had, better than I ever could. Lol.
Racism, sexism, etc…these things are real. Sadly, when everything a man does is sexist, when everything he does is misogynistic, when everything someone non-Black says is a racist comment, etc…the words begin to lose their significance.
“Somehow in our culture it has become acceptable to use incendiary words and phrases in the most casual, off-the-cuff manner as if there are no real consequences.”
You are a breath of fresh air. Lol. I genuinely mean that. My wife knows I detest the culture where a person cannot express the truth, because someone’s feelings will be hurt. I am not referring to “off-the-wall insults. Of course not.
I am referring to things like your quote above. Saying that would get an anchor fired. It is such a shame. We are undermining what free speech means, yet, countries like to throw stones at China because of their objection to free speech.
“and I still use a dictionary (online now) to ensure my choice of certain specific words is correct for the application I intend.”
HaHa. My wife says I am a maniac, because I am always checking the dictionary and Google for the meaning of words, origin, etc. Lol. Thank you once again for such a great response.
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I think of blogging as ongoing conversation. Your posts are so well written, layered, and thoughtful I try to digest them fully before commenting. I love that.
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That’s the beauty about communication. I think I should begin viewing blogging that way also. Interesting. Thank you.
As for my posts, to receive such a comment from you is humbling. I strive to write things that make people dig deep, and form a reaction. I am learning how to better communicate my thoughts, so your comment is a blessing. Thank you.
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Warning, super long.
To be honest, I thought you meant every word. It wasn’t until the comments that I figured out it wasn’t true. Granted, this is the first post I have read from you. I didn’t even both going to the about page. I have read it since, but I didn’t before. Think it’s better to be informed than ignorant. Anyways…
Half way through I thought about leaving because, if I finished, I would leave a comment that would piss you off. Now, that I’ve read up. I’m leaving a comment.
First, racism is a hard subject, hot, for anybody to talk about and arguments don’t break out. And I rarely talk about or comment.
Second, I do believe it can happen, but most, if not the majority, is because of how the person took whatever was said.
Third, as long as the person keeps that victim mentality, then they will never see it differently. Even in your post, I keep thinking can this man not take a stupid compliment. Good grief, grow up and figure out that’s stupid. They were being nice. That’s probably harsh, but dang that took it far.
It reminded me of reading a story online. This girl was dead, another in a coma, and third badly injured. The mother kept ranting about how the cops killed her daughter because she was black. In reality, the cops where pulling them over. The mom’s daughter decided that she didn’t want to do that and sped off. The cop didn’t even give chase. The girl wrecked the car around the next corner. It was horrible. I felt for the families, but this women was making me mad. It was her daughter’s own fault for it happening and to call race into it was wrong on so many levels.
I know that I am not black, nor will I ever, feel what some go through, but I didn’t care for when you said ‘you can’t have an opinion.’ I understand part of it but I do have a right to have an opinion when most things that the government decides is based on race. They are the worst at building the victim mentality.
It also reminds me of this woman I knew in the Army. She came to work at our unit and we loved it, because none of us wanted to do the job that she had. So, I became friends with her. At the beginning, I was the only women, by the time she came there were two more added, which was unusual for EOD units. Anyways, I thought I became her friend and would help her out because she was not an EOD tech and that’s difficult in a unit like EOD. We’re all a little crazy so she wasn’t.
Again, anyways, one day she was having a problem and I offered helped. She looked me directly in the eye and said ‘why do you want to help me?’ I said ‘because you are my friend.’ She laughed and said ‘you’re a white girl, you can’t be my friend.’
I walked away and never looked back. I wasn’t racist. She was and I have sometimes felt that it comes from those that are screaming racism. Of course, my vision has been colored by her and I don’t hold it against anybody else, but it has changed how I looked at it.
When my sister married, he’d done some stuff before they got married. So, I did care for him as a person. When she decided to get married, I take his side 99% of the time because I know my sister. I also started a change in him. I would always go to him and give him a hug when we met up. Now, he seeks me out if I’m hidden (I’m only 5’2 and his 6 something) behind people to give me a hug. The color of skin does not matter in my family. We love him as much as we love my sister. It”s really cool.
Now, they are having a baby. I’m excited to see what she looks like and to hang out with her. To my way of thinking, she’s going to beautiful will chocolate skin, soft hair, and that wonderful babiness. Of course, I have no clue what she’ll look like, but my brother has black, black skin and the genes in our family run so strong, all of us look alike. So, I can’t wait to meet her.
All that to say, I about freaked out. It definitely gives a different perspective. Great job!
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