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This all comes down to perspective and reading the situation. I see it this way, if I were a father and some guy decided to intervene with the family outing, the guy would receive a quick backhand. LoL.
I am kidding. I would not hit the guy, but I would have to address his inappropriate approach. I would consider this a poor assessment on his behalf, and completely opposite to the gentleman’s lifestyle.
Is she by herself and walking in an isolated location, with a collection of bags in her hands? Your approach may startle her. The idea is that you do not want to put her on guard, by coming across aggressively.
Remember, she is by herself, with her hands currently occupied and in an isolated location. It is not too comforting, to have a stranger approaching you. Women are more on guard with male strangers, than with female strangers. So, what do you do?
Well, you have to play this by each situation. Is she walking towards you, or is she walking away from you? If she is walking in front of you, the sound of someone’s feet rushing towards her, will put her into panic mode perhaps.
This is where you have to get a little strategic. This is just one example that comes to mind, if you feel you must approach this woman. You are doing this simply to ease her comfort level. Call someone in your family, preferably a female or child.
Put the call on speakerphone, and bring up something comical during the conversation. If it is a child, ask them if they are excited to watch the newest release from Pixar. Once again, this is simply a concept to make her feel less on edge, in the presence of a stranger behind her.
Once you are close to her, you can end the call and say something silly to begin…
Hi, you dropped something a few steps back.
Right now, she is wondering what it may be and will ask. Once again, you are simply using humor to break the ice.
Nothing actually. I was simply trying to figure out the most comfortable way to approach you. I hear humor is a good method. How did I do?
This is where you will gauge her response and determine how to proceed. There are no rules here, except assessing her interaction.
You want the dialogue to remain fluid. This is not a speech to the country, which you are preparing for. This should remain as natural as possible.
What happens if you are in a bookstore, and notice someone who takes your breath away? Should you reject approaching her, because she is reading a book?
There are many who will say you should leave her alone. I do not agree. This could be your future wife, for all you know.
I am not saying that Barnes & Nobles is the latest location, for singles to meet. However, who can say where you will meet the love of your life.
If people actually listened to this rule, countless relationships would not exist. It all comes down to assessing the situation, and making the right approach.
Hi, please excuse this interruption from the book. I may never get the opportunity of seeing you again, so I hope you do not hold it against me for interrupting you.
Whether she is upset or welcoming to your interruption, she will let you know. Her reaction will dictate how to proceed.
You will not know what will happen, until you engage with her. Respect, confidence and assessment for the setting. These are three things to keep in mind, when you are approaching women in public.
Regardless what happens after your encounter, take it on the chin and never use disrespectful terms, due to her rejection. Gentlemen understand that rejection is a part of the dating arena.
Immature minds cannot make this assessment. Rejection to them, simply means a personal attack. These guys will take it personally, and will react with a verbal response.
However, you are a gentleman and gentlemen do not behave in such a manner. This is my perspective. I am more interested in hearing yours.
If you were the woman in this bookstore scenario, would you mind if someone approached you? Would you react negatively due to the interruption? While in public, does it matter If he approaches you like a gentleman or not?
You have a lovely style of writing 🙂 Keep up the good work!
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Thank you for checking out this post, and your acknowledgment for the writing. It’s always a pleasure sharing with others. Thank you
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I love how you turned cat-calling to a nicer approach which I think gentlemen should use whey they want to start a conversation with the woman they are interested in. 🙂
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Thanks. Lol. It’s always my desire to share a gentleman’s perspective, especially when it involves engaging in dialogue. I know people will still consider this concept incorrect, because according to them, males should never approach females on the street. I’m perplexed each time I read this comment online, which seems to be something several people believe due to the “catcalling” video.
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You’re welcome. 🙂 Sometimes. it’s hard to say right or wrong. It all depends on the situation and how that person perceives that subject.
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It’s been a long time since I’ve had to meet someone new. From what I remember, I always found that early part awkward. I can’t say I lacked self confidence, but at the same time I think I did lack it when it comes to women. So I love this part:
“Think of it this way, the very worst she can do is turn you down. Keep in mind, she was not present in your life before you approached her, and if she says no, she will remain absent.”
It’s true. Really, embarrassment will pass and there’s really nothing to lose.
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The initial encounter is what stunts a number of people. The information we are presenting now is going to make it even more difficult, because sadly, everything and anything males do is considered wrong. Lol. I am alarmed by some of the comments I read, and videos on YouTube regarding male and female interaction.
What’s really interesting is that the discussions are not addressing only catcalling. Instead, it seems to involve the basic dynamics of male/female interaction. Young boys are going to be unaware what to do, because it’s like the lunatics are running the insane asylum. Lol. Here’s to us taking back control from these lunatics, because they seem to hate this thing called biology.
I think this topic is one we should continue to explore, because if I were able to share something that you found helpful, imagine if we all continued sharing with one another. Thanks for checking out this post
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“you are only as good at dialogue, as your self-esteem.” that line is perfection. This is a great follow through of your original post on the catcalling video. Timing and a gentlemanly approach is everything, it may be the difference between a woman being offended or feeling complimented.
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Thanks. I’m seeing alarming changes on basic human biology, which many in the media and bloggers/vloggers seem to push. It sends mixed messages, causing people in the dating arena, to be unaware how to interact with one another. I created this post to add my perspective to counteract the message.
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