It says quite a bit about the state of humanity, when people receive gold stars for remaining faithful in their relationships, as children do for accomplishing something exceptional in grade school.
If I were to look at things through the lens of education, remaining faithful is barely passing. You do not make the honor roll for barely passing.
More importantly, I should not receive acknowledgement because I remain faithful to my wife.
To continue the series addressing the most asked questions about my relationship, I think it is about time I addressed this topic, regardless of the many variations someone will pose the question.
To add transparency as a blogger, I love to shop for my wife. I do it often actually.
I understand her style well, which allows me to purchase: handbags, dresses, skirts, shoes, lingerie, etc. If you can name it, the chances are I have bought it. However, it was not always this way.
During our second year together I believe, I bought her a satchel handbag from online, after carefully reviewing countless brands and styles over several days.
She was ecstatic the moment she realized I purchased a gift, simply just because. However, after tearing through the gift-wrapping, the excitement disappeared. LoL.
Her disappointment was like a left hook to the chin.
What is my point? I felt bad purchasing a bag she did not like. Could you imagine my reaction, if I were to break the trust of my wife because of my infidelity?
I felt horrible purchasing the wrong bag, something I could easily return and purchase another. In comparison, her trust is far more precious than any bag designed by Louis Vuitton, Céline or Prada.
As a disclaimer, If you initiated the infidelity, please understand that this post is not about you. I am only addressing my reaction to others, when they bring up this question of my faithfulness.
I love my wife. Writing that alone brought a comforting energy to my body. I genuinely adore my wife. There goes the feeling again.
I would like for you to take a few moments, and click the following links. Do not worry, I am not sending you to the dark corners of the web.
Click each link and remain on their respective pages for a few seconds. When you return and read the following sentences, you will experience an aha moment.
The list includes what I would consider priceless views. People do not take these views for granted, and this is because of the immense beauty depicted in each.
You can label me selfish, but on my list of breathtaking views, my wife would hold the number one position.
She is my immensely beautiful view. She is what I consider priceless. She is what I could never take for granted.
As beautiful as the images on the list above appear, each pales in comparison to how she appears to me.
Why do I remain faithful to my wife?
I am faithful, because the grass is always greener on this side of the fence.
Even if I peek over the fence and their shade is slightly brighter, that is because the sun is reflecting differently from my angle. When I reposition myself, the grass is back to appearing much brighter on my side of the fence.
What does this mean?
Even on a bad day, it is a good day with my darling. She will always be better than the competition.
Even during instances of forgetting to take out the trash, and she scolds me, her scolding occurs in such an incredibly sexy way. HaHa.
In all seriousness, I am faithful because I did not begin my relationship; tackle the things we had to endure because of our interracial status, understand what my past consisted of, all to find myself desecrating on the blessedness of our journey.
The journey to prove I was not a womanizing, undeserving partner was not easy.
Maturing in the face of knowing I could just as easily, have random hookups without skipping a beat, well, it was not easy.
I am not Brad Pitt, Shemar Moore, Usher or Hugh Jackman, but roaming with no strings attached, would be far easier to do, in comparison to my experience during the introduction of our interracial relationship.
It would have been easier to throw in the towel and say…
The heck with the stereotypes of this particular interracial relationship. I’m better off rejecting commitment altogether.
However, departing our union in the face of challenges then would have ended this beautiful story.
What we created after dismantling that particular hurdle has opened my eyes, to attaining a love described in fairytale.
During the early stages, I went through the mud and crawled on my stomach for days. It would be a tragedy if I were to begin entertaining another woman, because I no longer have to crawl through mud.
Why do I remain faithful?
I knew of this love because of novels, but finally having it within my grasp is another feeling entirely. To violate what this love stands for is a disgrace.
A person looking to accumulate $100K within six months for an investment property, does not commit to all of the sacrifices for six months, attain the accumulated amount, and then simply blow it all in one night at a strip club. That is illogical, monumentally stupid and downright idiotic.
That is how I see my relationship.
The relationship is far too precious for me to undermine its beauty, by being with someone else.
I consider my relationship as a gift, regardless if we are going through sunny days or rainy ones. Both days are a gift. People often say I view life differently from others, and this topic falls into that category.
My wife is incredibly kind, supportive, devoted, genuine, thoughtful, truthful, and humble. To top it off, she is such a lady.
Seeing her today proves yet again, why she is an ideal partner, wife and best friend. I did not imagine myself as a married man. I suppose if it did happen, she would be the ideal partner.
You do not encounter something as special as this union, and throw it away. I respect her, our relationship and myself, far more than that.
It is easy to find myself in the arms of another female companion. I simply go online or offline, and there are countless forms of interactions to choose.
You have women seeking sex with no strings attached, women interested in creating an emotional bond, and then you have those interested in a connection consisted of sex and emotion.
Whatever you want today in a relationship, there is an app for that. In other words, finding the other woman is the easy part.
The challenging part for many guys, is not giving into temptation.
Interestingly, that is not challenging for me. As long as I am her husband, she has all of me. Though our relationship does not face all of the hiccups that others may encounter, we still experience challenges.
However, we communicate and act in a way that works for us, which minimizes many of the woes that typically occur with others. I say this not from a high horse looking down at others, but reflective of my past relationships.
I know from experience that elements of the guy I used to be, are no longer present, which assisted in the destruction of past relationships.
When you add the reflection of my past, with the outlook on life triggered by my upbringing, remaining faithful is simply natural.
This is not naiveté, or appearing idealistic as someone once pointed out. There are things about me, which simply go against typical behavior.
It does not make me better, it simply means I view things differently at times, because of the many errors from my past.
Going astray is incredibly easy to do. However, when you have a wife like her—going astray becomes improbable
You still understand that other women are present, thus, attractiveness is everywhere. However, my mind does not allow me to go beyond the visual stage.
When other guys see women, they may see potential accidents waiting to happen. When I see women, this realization will not occur.
I am her husband and she is my wife—this is a duo…not a trio waiting to happen. In summary, when you have everything, nothing will compare. On a personal level, cheating is simply not an option. People then say…
You won’t know if you are capable, until you go through it.
It amazes me how someone’s personal experience, is therefore the experience of all. Just because you experienced temptation and obliged, does not mean I will embrace temptation. In fact, temptation is not absent from my atmosphere.
Why is it difficult to understand that I will not cheat? It does not make me pompous, arrogant, naive, egotistical or any of the irrational things you hurl in my direction. I simply refuse to think cheating is an option.
I know of temptation. Attractive women are everywhere, but my wife understands better than anyone, why my eyes only see her.
This is my perspective on why I have not cheated, but I would love to hear your take on this subject.
Why do so many question my faithfulness? Why are they shocked that I refuse to have a side-piece? Why do some say that I will go astray, simply because they succumbed to temptation at some point?
Why do I receive acknowledgement for being a faithful husband, when that should be the basic element of a monogamous relationship?