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Advice, Beauty, Body Image, Culture, Dating, Love, OneGentlemansPerspective, Personal, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Social Media, Society, Women
They say there is no such thing as a stupid question.
Colin Powell, an American statesman and a retired four-star general in the United States Army, who served as the 65th United States Secretary of State once said…
There is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid answers.
I can understand this concept because what person-X may know, can appear as foreign information to person-Y.
I have decided to apply this to my side of the blogosphere. I will answer a number of questions that I encounter across the different search engines.
For the social media architects and creators, who come every so often to my page and go full postal emotionally when they reply, if you would like to disagree with my perspective, please read Part 1 and Part 2, which addresses the topic of disagreeing online.
I consider them to be architects and creators, because every situation must suit exactly to their point of view, or else it is incorrect.
I am providing an answer in the only way that I can, through my perspective, along with a consensus from my peers that are sometimes older, younger or of the same age.
Up first is an interesting question. Do guys care about stretch marks?
Males generally speaking, do not set and enforce beauty standards. Do you know who sets beauty standards?
Females.
I know that goes against popular belief, especially with the provocateurs and their constant discussions of female objectification in mass media.
Take a step back, remove the emotions and analyze this critically. Do not have an allegiance to males or females. Align yourself to critical thinking.
When you enter a room, are males picking you apart from head to toe, or is it another female?
When you purchase a new sweater, is it a male judging its worthiness, or is it another female?
When you wear makeup, is it males assessing whether you applied it correctly or is it females? I am not speaking in one instance here and one instance there. Analyze this from a more widespread perspective.
Your enemy is not of the male persuasion. This goes against popular belief, but that belief is riddled in propaganda and fear mongering.
They want you to think insecurities occur because of males. However, when it comes to these insecurities and you choose to view the discussion in a more widespread perspective, you begin to notice the focus occurs from your female peers.
Do guys care about beauty? I would say males in general desire attractive females. However, do males pay attention to every single detail about beauty, in the manner females imagine?
I would say males in general desire attractive women, but not nearly to the degree females are led to believe, which fuels their insecurities. Is this an opinion? Of course, this is my opinion.
However, do your own research. Engage in a discussion with different males and ask if they care about the multi-billion dollar beauty industry, which you are a customer of, to the degree that you imagine he does.
Companies and magazines will fuel this drive on beauty, but they prey on your insecurities, which the average guy does not even notice.
Once again, do guys desire attractive females? Guys do not desire attractive females any more or any less, than their female counterparts will desire attractive males.
In other words, both males and females desire attractive people. A number of women believe beauty standards are driven by males, yet in reality, females are more of the ruling party with this topic.
Are there some guys critical of your imperfections? Similar to the statement above, no more or less than females on average, will be critical of the imperfections on males.
Your stretch marks are not important here. I understand where the stigma comes from to appear physically perfect, but males do not drive this theory. Guys do not look at potential partners and say…
Holy crap! She has stretch marks—NEXT!!!
Wait, what is this? Is this a stretch mark? Eww! Gross.
I like you a lot but it’s not you, it’s your stretch marks. I think we should see other people.
You’re extremely beautiful, but the stretch marks on your stomach and thighs are disgusting.
If you have this insecurity, please understand that it is not indicative of males. If you encounter this with a guy, keep in mind that he is not indicative of males, because once again, view this topic not from one-off instances.
Before someone can truly love you, where you are able to accept this love, you must first grasp what it means to love yourself first.
Insecurities are able to limit you from coming to terms with loving yourself. Beauty insecurities from my observation are caused by other females.
Guys do not care about stretch marks; especially to the degree you imagine that he considers you repulsive, because of having stretch marks.
This is my perspective. I would love to read yours. Do you think beauty insecurities, are created and enforced by females or males?
Ah, I love this post. It took me many years to discover the truth in your words, but what an awesome thing when I finally did. It’s very freeing. Most of us perceive ourselves through our flaws or through the judgments of other women. If you perceive yourself through the eyes of men instead, suddenly you’re quite attractive. Men in general tend to think women are beautiful and to not see our alleged flaws at all.
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I hope you have been well IB. It seems I have not been online in forever, after my post nearly two weeks ago regarding Banks. Nonetheless, I rather like this quote because I believe not nearly enough people know it..
Most of us perceive ourselves through our flaws or through the judgments of other women.
By knowing this, some of the issues faced in the courting process and perhaps even instances where you find those of the opposite sex simply conversing, may no longer occur. Beauty definitely plays a role for both sides of this discussion, but not nearly to extent females are led to believe.
I am sure if we were to do a survey, the results would agree with this…
Men in general tend to think women are beautiful and to not see our alleged flaws at all.
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I think nobody is as critically to us as we are to yourselves!
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You are correct. I believe we can be as critical about ourselves, if not more than what others believe about us. Thanks for reading and sharing your perspective.
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I’ve been curious as to how you were going to cover this topic, and I have to say, great job.
“I like you a lot but it’s not you, it’s your stretch marks. I think we should see other people.”
Love this line. Seriously, I see women obsess over things that most guys don’t even see. I mean, sure, there’s a part of us that wishes our partner looked more like X (insert name of desirable female here). But we also wish that WE looked more like Y (insert name of male that we wish we looked more like). That doesn’t mean we want or need you to change. In 95%+ of the guys I know, we love our partners AS THEY ARE. We accept them as who they are.
And we wish they would accept themselves too.
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Thanks Drew. My wife read this post last night and wanted to share it on her Facebook.
“I see women obsess over things that most guys don’t even see.”
If you ask my wife this, she will definitely agree that there is a huge disparity. When we are watching television in the evening perhaps, where I turn to her and say, “wow…I love how your hair looks like this. It’s actually pretty sexy,” she turns and says, “what are you talking about? My hair is a mess.”
I tell her the things we actually like, generally speaking of course, is not what they think we notice. However, the things they think we notice, we do not pay it any mind. It is an interest dynamic really.
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Love this post! Very true. I always grew up, yes trying to impress guys, but more so other females wouldn’t comment on if I was perfect or not. It’s true though that we are more critical on ourselves than others. I know that I have complained about X or Y in front of a boyfriend and they didn’t even notice. I was shocked because the girl friends I had had noticed.
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Thank you for stopping by and checking it out. I was looking to shed some light on this topic, so hopefully I did the subject justice. You are 100 percent correct.
“I know that I have complained about X or Y in front of a boyfriend and they didn’t even notice.”
My wife would reference how she feels weird in an outfit, and questions me on whether she should change it or not. I am there looking at her completely dumbfounded…”what are you referring to? There is absolutely nothing off about the outfit. The color works well and it fits you well.”
What you see, in a general sense, we definitely do not. The funny thing is that we always end up laughing after she brings up this question
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Reblogged this on A glimpse at Sophia's world.
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Thank you for checking out this post. I hope I did the subject justice. It’s a pleasure having you share it.
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You’re welcome. It did 🙂
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Reblogged this on Nette.
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Thanks for lending my page some of your time. I appreciate you taking a moment to read this perspective. I appreciate the reblog as well. Hopefully the message was done justice by me.
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It certainly was! Keep on posting! Honestly you write amazingly well!
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