I am aware of people doing the strangest things, all for the purpose of keeping or attracting a mate. In this post, I will address the subject of pregnancy, with a slight spin. If the love fell apart or does not exist any longer, will a pregnancy make him love you? Therefore, this will mark the first in a series of…
Things You Should Never Do to Keep a Man or Woman
I know where the reasoning for this decision comes from. The relationship is hanging on a thread the length of my thumb, and with each argument, you believe the end is near.
Perhaps he no longer looks at you, the way he once did. While spending the day shopping, you catch his eyes staring at the derrière of women who walk by. He used to write poetry weekly, but now refuses to acknowledge your existence. I get it—it sucks.
The problem is that you still love him. You deserve better, but you still love him. Perhaps he treats you badly now, but it was not always this way.
What can I do to make him love me again? What can I do to make things go back, to the way they once were? I know…I will get pregnant. I’ll lie and tell him I’m on the pill.
Through One Gentleman’s Perspective and sanity, that is an problematic decision. At best, you will make him hate your guts and at worst, he will not want anything to do with the child.
I will not focus on the former, because every action has a reaction. You committed a deceitful act and that is your consequence.
However, the latter repercussion is important for me because everything about my perspective in some manner, relates back to the next generation.
A child does not ask to be here. In the silly games that adults play with one another, a child will always be an innocent bystander. In your pursuit to keep a man, you overlooked one important factor. What will you do if this plan somehow backfires?
What if he not only becomes upset with you, but also irrationally transfers his aggression to the child, and decides to abandon all responsibilities associated with fatherhood?
Children need their fathers. I do not care what some people are currently perpetuating, such as saying the role is no longer necessary. Children need their fathers.
All things being equal in the sperm department, all males are able to assist in the pregnancy process, but doing so does not make them great fathers.
My message of children needing their fathers is referencing the majority. The message that children need their mothers sounds normal, but for some reason, some people have trouble with the message that children need their fathers.
But I digress.
You may find several justifications for this conclusion, but in my opinion, the cons far outweigh the justifications. You cannot, and I must repeat this in bold letters, you cannot keep a man who does not desire to be there.
He may remain temporarily, but upon discovering what you have done, it will send him on an emotional roller coaster. He will become royally upset and possibly miserable.
He may even remain long term, but that is entirely because of his responsibility to the child. If you throw into the mix that he also experienced a bad relationship with his father, where he felt abandoned as a child and would rather die before following in his father’s footsteps…he will remain active in the child’s life, but hold a great disdain for you.
As mentioned in a previous blog, if you listen and pay close attention to others, you can learn a great deal through their perspective. Time and time again, men have mentioned to me…
I hate this woman. If not for the kids, I would’ve left. But you better believe I have my girlfriends on the side. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Be with someone who respects and loves you.
What is the point? You may think because he is physically present, that your pregnancy decision worked. I am here to give you a dose of reality; the likelihood of success is improbable.
A man will remain emotionally and physically faithful, not because of you, but because he chooses to. No person will love you, if that person does not want to.
In other words, no man will love you, solely because of a pregnancy. You cannot keep a man with the logic that a pregnancy will make him love you.
Bringing a child into this world is a most precious step to take. You should desire bringing forth life for reasons, unrelated to making someone love you.
Once again, many will disagree with my opinion here. How do I know this? I know from personal experience, women who actually believe this is a viable method, in making someone stay or love them.
Thankfully, I know they are not in the majority. Nonetheless, even if only 10 percent of the female population worldwide believed in this type of pregnancy, that is 10 percent too many.
Do not use children as pawns in your deceitful game. That is a tragedy in and of itself. Yes, he can use a condom. However, that is inconsequential in this particular example of lying about birth control, for the sake of keeping someone and having a baby to make the person love you.
However, this is my perspective; I am more interested in yours. Do you think you can force someone to fall in love? What are your thoughts on using pregnancy as a tool, to make someone stay or fall in love?