To continue my series addressing questions I encounter via different search engines, I think I have an interesting one today. Why do guys kiss and tell?
I have friends and acquaintances, with varying degrees of sexual experience. I know of people waiting until marriage, and I know of individuals able to have sex, merely because you delivered the right amount of attention.
The mere whiff of someone providing attention will trigger a sense of euphoria.
That last sentence is an exaggeration, but the key is that for those falling on this side of the sexual spectrum, body exploration sessions occur often and with anyone willing to pay some attention.
As a disclaimer, I could not care less one way or the other, how many sexual partners you have on a consensual basis.
More importantly, this concept of kiss and tell, will occur on both sides of the fence. Females and males do it. It is another topic entirely, if we are to calculate whether one side does it more often than the other does. However, for this entry, I want to focus on males.
Similar to all of the other topics I address, I cannot provide absolutes in my response. I can only approach the subject through One Gentleman’s Perspective, but also through generalizations.
With that said, in my experience, males will change their decision to kiss and tell during two scenarios. The first scenario is when he enters into a long-term relationship.
This is where he decides that all, or specific details about his sex life are now off-limits. The second scenario occurs upon maturity.
Maturity does not necessarily equate to age. In fact, I know of married men old enough to be my father, liberal in their decision to share the most intimate details, about their body exploration sessions.
Why do guys kiss and tell?
In my opinion, there are two main reasons where he feels compelled, to share information involving his body exploration sessions. There are others, but I only want to focus on these two.
The first reason relates to the challenge of sex. The need to share this information occurs, because we collectively understand that sex is usually a difficult step for females to take.
Having sex in this challenging environment is similar to winning a fight against your bully. Please do not shoot the messenger; I am simply sharing my opinion as to why it may happen.
Taking down the largest bully in school is quite a physical challenge; therefore, accomplishing such a feat becomes noteworthy.
Having sex is the equivalent of overcoming a difficult challenge. With anything that is challenging, we usually recognize when someone overcomes it. The more challenging, the greater the acknowledgement of his peers becomes.
For instance, if he experienced body exploration sessions with a popular female musician, this sexual tryst would be the equivalent of winning a fight against several schoolyard bullies.
It is no different from the praise or attention, which Amal Alamuddin is receiving for settling down George Clooney.
Clooney is an individual believed by many to be a man, who was incapable of walking down the aisle due to stereotypes involving his fear of commitment, and his desire for younger women.
In both scenarios, the concept of challenging is present. Mrs. Clooney’s ability to take him off the market is something, which continues baffling celebrities and non-celebrities alike. How did she do it? How did she succeed, where others failed?
In general, this is how some males view the subject of having sex, thus the reason some feel the need to share with others. I did not say it is right, nor does my explanation say it is wrong.
It does not mean he considers himself superior to females, nor does it mean the concept of viewing sex as challenging, is an example of sexism.
The second reason, which he may kiss and tell, connects to the first. Concerning the subject of challenging, having sex with females holding firm to their virginity, well, that is as difficult as it gets. Once again, please do not shoot the messenger.
Traditionally speaking, virginity was the ideal position for both males and females. In other words, it was a common practice to remain pure until marriage.
However, though it is an ideal position for females, outside of religious circles, virginity is somewhat different, especially for males today. Male virgins are the butt of every joke. In fact, males and females often make fun or criticize, male virgins simply because they are virgins.
With this in mind, some will fabricate body exploration sessions, in order to remain disconnected from the virgin label.
In this scenario, he is misconstruing the kiss and tell concept, because the only thing at play is the telling portion. Since the entire ordeal is a fabrication, there is no kissing involved.
In short, this guy will kiss and tell because he dislikes the virgin label.
Overall, the respect level will change upon maturing, or the moment he enters into a committed relationship.
Generally, it is one thing to kiss and tell when the person in question is a fling, but it is another when she is actually someone he truly cares for. He may not think twice when it involves a fling, but his thought process changes when he cares for her.
His opinion on the subject changes, because the degree of respect for a one-night stand or fling remains different, to a long-term connection.
When I was a teenager, I did not see a problem with kissing and telling. Now that I am walking the lifestyle of a gentleman, things are different.
Play-by-play information, regarding body exploration sessions with my wife will remain between us. What I did before was representative of my state of mind. However, as a gentleman today, kissing and telling is disrespectful to my wife and our relationship.
This is my perspective. I am more interested in yours. What are your thoughts on kissing and telling?