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It has been quite some time since we were able to have a look at One Gentleman’s Truth. The goal was to have a post uploaded on a Wednesday, addressing questions asked online or offline, where I then provide a non-politically correct response.
However, with the arrival of more personal messages, I privately sent response emails. I decided not to use those particular emails under this page.
However, we have a question today that I hear often, especially in this politically correct environment.
Why are guys able to have sex with a number of women, and receive praise, yet when women have sex with a number of guys, she is a slut? I should be able to have sex with as many guys as I want, without anyone stopping me.
This is such an interesting topic; I have to provide my response in a few parts, because I could write 5K words without skipping a beat. I hear this question often and usually from women, and the most recent occurrence did occur from a woman.
Why do we culturally give the high five to one, whereas we frown upon the other? Well, there is a reason for it, but it is not rooted in sexism, and you may not like it.
Accepting the reason, means you must embrace the reality that differences exist between males and females—and we know the PC-nation cannot have that.
I know this will always remain a hot button issue, and from the recent discussions regarding the topic, this post will come across as sexist, misogynistic, slut-shaming, etc.
To that, I will simply say reality is what you will find on this page. The fantasy-land that you call reality, well, it is a few inches to the right, several more upwards and right by the X, to exit out of this page.
Do I think men have more value than women do? That is absurd, and goes against what I consider decent behavior of gentlemen.
Are women purely sex toys for the pleasure of men? That is also absurd, because I surely do not consider my wife, female friends and relatives, as toys for men to play with.
That is what the politically correct environment wants you to believe, which reinforces your misunderstanding to the question in the title.
Through One Gentleman’s Perspective, I will provide from my point of view, along with the consensus of males I have encountered, the reason behind this double standard.
Hopefully, I will explain why you as a woman, should not cry foul. You can cry foul of course, but your disdain is misplaced.
With all things that I consider culturally complicated, I begin by disassembling into a basic understanding.
1Imagine you were at home and extremely hungry for a particular brand of cookies. You hit pause on the television, walk to the pantry and retrieve this specific brand of cookies.
On a scale from 1-10, how difficult was it to attain these cookies in the first scenario? Realistically, perhaps two, because you had to walk away from one of your favorite shows, during an important scene.
2Imagine that you were at home, and extremely hungry for a particular brand of cookies. You hit pause on the television, walk to the pantry and search until it seems you are burglarizing your own home. After searching your entire kitchen, you realize you have no more cookies.
However, this desire is not one that will go away. You know the only store with this particular brand is a 30-minute drive from your location. You grab your car keys, exit your home, enter your car and drive to the store.
On a scale from 1-10, how difficult was it to attain these cookies in scenario two? In your mind, for something you are craving for, you will do anything to attain it.
However, for the sake of argument, it is perhaps a seven. The drive is a total of one hour, which means you have to leave your home and put off watching your show for another hour.
If you explain these two scenarios to a friend, which scenario would realistically cause them to react? Which scenario would truthfully cause your friend to say, Wow…that is what you call dedication?
You see, I am a rational thinking individual. I do not have the intelligence of Kim Ung-yong; a physicist whose IQ is 210. I would lose the challenge of wits, if I were to battle Chris Langan, a bouncer, whose IQ is listed as 190.
With that said, I think the problem with most arguments, is that we address the situation purely on emotion, and not by sitting back and simply observing rationally.
When I hear people address this topic, it is purely on their emotion, based entirely on this idea that differences are not present between males and females.
Now, emotions are very important. However, if you only apply your feelings on discussions, it can impede you from seeing the issue at hand.
One Gentleman's Perspective 
This is just si true, this need to go round
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This topic always confused me, in regard to why people complicate it, as opposed to simply going to the basic of what is at hand. When we complicate things, we eventually make the answer(s) complicated. They like to believe it is based on sexism, but when you do that, you bring into the mix a heap of complicated factors. These factors then make the discussion as a whole complicated, and the answers you try to provide.
This situation of sexual promiscuity is far simpler than we make it out to be. I created this post with the hope of simplifying it. I truly hope I was successful in this goal, with each reader. My wife read it, smiled and said, “This makes perfect sense. Your analogy makes it clear. However, I don’t think people will like it. I think the only way someone will get upset is if they are promiscuous, and hate when others point it out.” Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate the read, response and the reblog. I am truly grateful.
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Well done. It’s really an interesting discussion to have, when we can step back from the emotional response. I think you presented a good argument.
A couple things occur to me, women pay a different price for promiscuity, just due to our biology. We’re more vulnerable physically and emotionally, so we carry more of the risk. Our cultural biases weren’t necessarily designed to oppress women, they were designed to protect us, biologically and emotionally
“If men went on a sexual strike today, heterosexual women would laugh”
This is true, however, we would also all go insane. Sex is actually pretty important to women’s physical and emotional health, perhaps as important as it is to men’s. We may not all be fully aware of that, and it’s not spoken of often, but it’s true.
In the context of marriage, many of those wifely headaches you hear about are not really an indicator of not needing or wanting sex, they’re more a symptom of how we are wired. LOL, naturally, some women may really simply have a headache, but I’m speaking in general here.
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Thanks. I was actually trying to sit back, reflect on the topic, pick apart the best and simplest analogy to convey the point. It was not coming from a place of judgment, but instead, it was coming from a place of bringing clarity through my perspective. The reason I enjoy reading your work is because of this. When you present your perspective on a topic, whether difficult or simplistic in nature, I get this idea that you always do so from a rational perspective. I know some of the folks on your page would say our belief in God, removes our ability to be rational, your position always remains rational in my opinion.
The most difficult, well, one of the most difficult things to do, is when you are looking to have a rational discussion with someone who only believes in arguing their emotions. Thank you sincerely for always presenting your points in the manner you do. It is always great engaging in dialogue.
Now, now…you know this goes against the current rhetoric. Lol.
“Our cultural biases weren’t necessarily designed to oppress women, they were designed to protect us, biologically and emotionally.”
People may read this and state that you are an innate misogynist. Lol. It is amazing how people cannot debate with actual dialogue, but instead latches onto phrases or a word, to silence your voice.
I definitely think males and females appreciate sex, but I used that line as sarcasm to show just how much “power” we have in that regard. Thank you very much for sharing
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Reblogged this on I G Malgwi's Blog.
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Great post Alton! 🙂
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Thank you. I had my wife read it to make sure the message was clear. She’s usually my “test dummy.” If she does not get it, I rewrite until it is clear. Lol. She loves the analogy of the cookie. In fact, she reworded one sentence to connect the concept. Thanks for stopping by and reading
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Really great posting!
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Thank you sincerely for stopping by. I appreciate when others take a moment from their day, with the intent of reading my perspective. You can never take someone’s time for granted in such a way, so thank you. I appreciate it. I wrote this post with the intent of allowing the women who believe this is based on sexism, to remove their emotions from the question and honestly reflect at what is at play. Thank you for reading and responding.
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This makes me think about a verse in Christina Aguilera’s “Can’t Hold Us Down”:
If you look back in history
It’s a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore
Obviously, that song was written with the view of causing controversy and they are very charged statements. I’m really glad you peeled this back while taking several steps back, without getting either confrontational or defensive. I can see what your wife said that people probably wouldn’t like the cookie analogy, though. It reminds me of Margaret Cho’s musical parody where she says “Everybody wants to get their hands on my cookie.”
Anyway, looking forward to reading your “to be continued” view on this topic.
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I actually had that song in mind when I wrote this. The concept always brings this topic to sexism, but that clouds the conversation. Everything between men and women is not rooted in sexism, but that is the angle we make everything. That’s sad really. That is akin to saying all issues between Blacks and Caucasians are racially based.
When I write about hot button issues like this, especially involving women, I do so with the truth in mind but not to be judgemental. Someone can perceive it as judgmental, but I cannot tell someone how to retain information. I write with a purpose in mind, but when someone reads, their perspective enters the equation and that can change the message. My wife loved the cookie analogy because she mentioned understanding the metaphor.
However, she said people would dislike the idea of seeing difficulty versus ease, involving the “cookie” and not the analogy itself. In other words, she said if people were to read this, they would hate the idea of removing sexism, and simply boiling it down to ease versus difficulty.
Thanks for reading and sharing a response. It’s always great to hear what others think about each post. It enhances my perspective.
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