What should you do now? The two women from your office, which your girlfriend hates due to their inappropriate flirting, are now getting dressed as you are lying in the hotel bed. You dodged their flirting for months, but the argument with your girlfriend somehow assisted in lowering your guard, as they made eye contact during the office meeting. What do you do now?
What should you do now? The attractive yoga instructor, which you were afraid to make eye contact over the past year, is now giving you another type of personal lessons.
The first lesson took place on your dining room table, and then another on the kitchen counter, guest room and finally, inside your shower. Your boyfriend decided to vacation with his friends, though you pleaded for him to spend the weekend with your family.
His comment about your mother pushed you over the edge, and now, you regret running into the arms of the instructor. What do you do now?
Infidelity happens. I am not condoning it, nor do I recommend the action. However, I know the world is comprised of imperfect beings, and although I highly recommend counseling or leaving the relationship before cheating, I cannot change the morality of all humanity.
When someone cheats on their partner, whether they like to do so or not, there are decisions to make. Within this post, I will provide what I consider the next appropriate step, after committing your betrayal of trust. Due to this topic being a series, this post will focus on one specific group.
With the cheaters of this scenario, they actually wish to return and remain in the relationship, with the individual they have wronged. In their eyes, the infidelity was a momentary lapse in judgment. In other words, it was simply a one-time thing.
As a disclaimer, this is One Gentleman’s Perspective. What you will find in this post, cannot be indicative of all individuals desiring to remain in the relationship, after committing the betrayal
I can only speak, as someone with an opinion, on what I personally feel is the next appropriate step. I am aware that my posts evoke an immediate emotional reaction. I can understand why. However, I only ask that we remain mindful that this is just One Gentleman’s opinion.
With that said, we always have a choice, and I mean always. The choices before us may appear difficult, and one choice may appear far easier to choose than the others may. However, we always have a choice in life. I often hear that:
You should never tell a man that the child is not his.
You should never reveal to your partner that you cheated.
I hear it so often from so-called dating experts, magazines, film, television shows, etc. I find this bloody sickening. Give me the option to remain in the relationship…do not make the decision for me.
You have already decided to make a poor decision, which influences your partner. I think it is about time that we finally give the betrayed partner, a choice in the matter.
Whenever I hear a woman on television say to her friend…
I would not recommend revealing that he is not the child’s father.
I usually cringe.
Whenever I read a magazine advising a reader…
The last thing you should do is make your partner aware of your romantic affair.
I question the soundness of the advice.
In my opinion, the moment you commit an affair and decide to remain in the relationship, the decision to withhold the information from your partner is no longer yours to make.
However, you definitely have the choice to maintain the secrecy. I simply think this option is no longer part of the equation. I am well aware a number of people will disagree, which is the right each person has.
The way you can normalize certain behaviors, whether good or bad, occurs by providing reasons to justify the actions. I am not here to say whether it is right or wrong—this is merely an observation.
Action: She keyed his new Range Rover, and broke all of the windows
Justification: She did it after hearing about his cheating through hearsay
Action: He cheated on his wife four times within the past year.
Justification: He did it because he is a sex addict, with an insatiable appetite.
This is the world that we live in. I am not saying it is right or wrong, but we have a justification for everything.
But I digress.
By now, you should have an idea what I feel the next step should be, for someone with the desire to remain in their relationship, after betraying their partner’s trust. If you are unaware, the answer is most definitely not to hide the event from your partner.