Sex and one’s decision to engage with another party, is not one to take lightly.
I periodically mention this, but I see individuals placing more emphasis on mundane things, yet none when it involves the males they allow to enter their bodies, or the females whose bodies they will enter. I have a difficult time making sense of this.
It is akin to people spending more time planning a wedding, but less time courting and getting to know their partners.
When I analyze sex, it is something far greater than a physical exchange of two bodies. It is one of our greatest ways to become one. Now that I am no longer teenager, I refuse to consider sex as only…
Inserting and exiting, inserting and exiting.
Because of the process one should take before engaging in sexual activity, I believe people should refrain from all acts, until they understand what it means beyond the physical.
Anyone can have sex.
In other words, without any deficiencies, anyone can have sex. What you should consider is your mental preparedness, for what happens afterwards.
This is idealistic and I know not everyone will make this consideration.
Should you have sex after one date? Personally, I would advise against women allowing someone to enter their bodies, after only one date.
I may receive a lot of opposition for that, because I did not mention males. However, sex cannot occur without the consent of a woman.
Law-abiding males require consent to have sex, thus my emphasis on females.
If I had a daughter and she deemed one date enough, to allow a man to enter her body, I would consider my role as a father to be a failure. If I had a son, I want him to question his partner, if she were willing to have sex on the first date. Others may disagree, and that is totally fine.
When I was dating, I did not care to think beyond the moment. If she were willing after a first encounter, who was I to reject. However, over time, my assessment changed.
I would want our children to assess things in a similar fashion, and then make the decision they feel is right, as opposed to acting and then assessing afterwards.
I also understand some females feel there is enough chemistry on the first date, and no other thought process is necessary. Once again, I continue saying females, because until she decides sex will happen, it will not happen.
If you fall into the category of people who have sex on the first encounter, my concept of taking more time on your decision becomes irrelevant.
Is sex on the first night a deal breaker? In other words, does that make her unworthy of marriage? There are relationships where body exploration sessions occurred on the first date. Therefore, it is not a deal breaker if you both decide on taking this step.
However, if you are looking for a relationship beyond the act, I simply suggest keeping in mind, the emotional aspect of having sex.
If you are not looking for a relationship, I still recommend taking some time to assess a decision, before acting purely on impulse.
Then again, I know there are people who skip the date altogether, and engage in body exploration sessions. I am not here to judge and therefore, my response on this subject is irrelevant for you.
More importantly, I know the people asking this question are usually those whom are interested in waiting, but not sure how long to wait.
I also know individuals under the age of 30, will not view this question in the same manner as a recently divorced individual, in their 50s or 60s.
There is no magic number honestly. It may take five dates over a span of several weeks, or 10 dates over a span of six months. Perhaps it will only take one date, over the span of 30 days.
Your interaction with this person is important, but more importantly, your understanding and reflection on your emotional assessment of sex is vital.
I believe this reflection holds more weight than chemistry, your childhood upbringing, etc. Is this something you are truly ready to do? Strip your mind of s/he is nice, the date is going so well, I haven’t had sex in months, etc.
Before you make a decision, ask yourself if you will still feel the same, if he no longer calls back. In other words, reflect on the decision, before actually making it.
This is One Gentleman’s opinion. I am more interested in hearing yours. How long should someone wait until having sex? Is it one week, two months, six months or until marriage?
How long did you wait until having sex? What would you advise to someone asking for an answer, such as your children or friend?